Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."
THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES
In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drink a beer and watch sport, while women can sit and chat about shoes for hours. Generalisation of course. Profound apologies. However there is one area where we men are on solid ground. Men like 'curvy' women. When we say men, we mean ALL men. Women think that men like 'slim' women, and that 'curvy' means fat. Wow. For a man, talking to a woman about her body and it's shape is like digging your own grave with your tongue. There is no way we can say to our partners 'you have a great curvy body', because she will automatically think we mean she is fat! So we will attempt to explain 'curvy' to women, and set their minds at rest. Men are completely turned on by a woman's shape. Her shape. Not her size. Not her weight. It's all about the 'hour-glass' shape.
There are some very, very slim women who have even slimmer waists, and therefore fall into the category where their body has the beginnings of the hour glass shape. There are some women who are naturally curvy, like a Beyonce, Shakira, or J-Lo. And some women need a little dieting, or exercise to find that shape. Men of all ages love to admire an hour glass body. There is something so incredibly sexy about prominent breasts, a slim waist and rounded hips. And usually the side profile is even better, as most curvy women look as if they are trying to arch their backs, and stick their buttocks out. Awesome. That is what men mean by curvy.
As long as breasts, waist, and hips are all in proportion, dress size is irrelevant. The only people who are honestly interested in whether a woman is size 0 or 10, are other women. Men are only interested in the shape of a woman's body. Because the editors of women's magazines are so narrow minded that every single picture in their glossy pages has to represent perfection, normal women who religiously read these pages find faults with themselves. They don't like their hair. Its too dry or too greasy. They don't like their eyes. They can detect fine lines and wrinkles. They don't like their skin. Their hands are too veiny. Their shoulders too broad. Stomach too big. Breasts wrong shape. Legs too short. You get the idea. Who caused all this anxiety? Certainly not men! And ladies, if you take a look through the first few pages of your favourite magazine, the editorial staff is almost exclusively female.
So all the women we know are a little obsessed with being slim, or being the correct weight. None seem too concerned about their shape. Men want one thing. Women are trying to achieve something entirely different. Men want that slim waist. The rounded hips and buttocks. The shapely breasts. They want it all in proportion. But most men are prepared to love their woman, no matter what shape she is. If she were curvy as well as everything else, that really would put the icing on the cake. One great study in the USA was eye opening. The average American woman is 5'4" tall, and size 14. In terms of fashion, modelling, and Hollywood, that is a plus size. Yet, if you ask men "who is the sexiest woman ever?", Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be size 14, comes second to "my wife". Men really think that curvy is beautiful.
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
There are some very, very slim women who have even slimmer waists, and therefore fall into the category where their body has the beginnings of the hour glass shape. There are some women who are naturally curvy, like a Beyonce, Shakira, or J-Lo. And some women need a little dieting, or exercise to find that shape. Men of all ages love to admire an hour glass body. There is something so incredibly sexy about prominent breasts, a slim waist and rounded hips. And usually the side profile is even better, as most curvy women look as if they are trying to arch their backs, and stick their buttocks out. Awesome. That is what men mean by curvy.
As long as breasts, waist, and hips are all in proportion, dress size is irrelevant. The only people who are honestly interested in whether a woman is size 0 or 10, are other women. Men are only interested in the shape of a woman's body. Because the editors of women's magazines are so narrow minded that every single picture in their glossy pages has to represent perfection, normal women who religiously read these pages find faults with themselves. They don't like their hair. Its too dry or too greasy. They don't like their eyes. They can detect fine lines and wrinkles. They don't like their skin. Their hands are too veiny. Their shoulders too broad. Stomach too big. Breasts wrong shape. Legs too short. You get the idea. Who caused all this anxiety? Certainly not men! And ladies, if you take a look through the first few pages of your favourite magazine, the editorial staff is almost exclusively female.
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Saturday, August 21, 2010
WHY DO MEN OGLE CURVEY WOMEN ?
It is as simple as that - Men will always crane their necks to give a beautiful or curvy woman a second glance. But just why do they do this?
A study in Britain and published in the Daily Mail in September last year, showed that 47 per cent of men were found to glance at women’s breasts on meeting them.
According to another study, one in every three men will have their eyes on a woman’s hips or waist while only one in every five men will remember to look at the face, according to researchers at New Zealand’s University of Wellington.
The same study revealed that men stare at a woman’s breasts longer than at any other body part.
Perry Rose, author of “Women, Sex and Dating for the Single man” says that men’s ‘love for breasts’ goes back to the days they breastfed as babies. But then she poses, “women also suckled” so why are they not obsessed with breasts?
Glan Fiero an expert in personal growth wonders whether men’s glances at particular parts of a woman’s body is instinctive, habitual, wanton lust or just male curiosity.
"Men like the aesthetic value of human anatomy. Each looks at the body part that satisfies his sexual needs,” she writes.
Still in Britain, a study by Kodak Lens Vision Centre that investigated “men’s eyeball activity” towards women showed men check out on average 10 women a day and this takes about 43 minutes of their total day in terms of time.
“This is about 11 days in a year of “undressing women with their eyes”. Just looking and admiring female anatomy,” the study noted.
So, do we have the same problem nearer home and what do the men say about it?
“Any nice looking breasts that are sparingly exposed will definitely interest my eyes,” says Charles Kanake who says he looks at a woman from the front and the first criteria he uses to determine her beauty is whether her breasts are firm and perky or not.
“But the ones that are over exposed in low cut clothes are simply off-putting and not attractive; in fact most men believe that women who over expose any part has loose morals. This may not necessarily be true but that’s what we think,” says Kanake, 23.
Kanake also confesses that he’s attracted to light-skinned women and will most likely turn to have a second glance when he passes one with a shapely figure.
For Tony Chira, it is a woman’s hips that will make him momentarily transfer all his thought to that same person.
“Ogling is not about men being immoral. And whether a man is married or not does very little to dissuade him from glueing his eyes on a curvaceous woman,” says Chira, a fashion and modelling consultant in Nairobi.
He is, however, quick to distinguish between a curvaceous woman and a fat one.
“It is not about the body size. It is about how the body is uniformly held together,” he says.
Chira’s sentiments seem to tally with the definition of curvaceous. The Chambers Dictionary terms curvaceous as “having curves or bent in regular form”. When referring to women, curvaceous means, “having shapely curves or a well-rounded body.”
Like Chira, Sylvester Rotich thinks a woman’s hips go a long to demonstrate the true face of femininity.
“After all, this is where we see the main difference between men and women,” he says.
He believes most African men like women with shapely hips due to their mentality of what a woman’s beauty is all about.
“While men say they look at a woman’s beauty from the rear, many modern women believe in the Western notion that having a slender frame is what is beautiful. Our young women are fighting weight believing men will find them more beautiful and yet this is not necessarily the case,” says Rotich.
“If you don’t believe me, then do the experiment for yourself. Sit somewhere and watch what kind of woman a man will give a second glance. It will definitely not the skinny one," adds Rotich.
Ask a woman what she feels when her man stares at another woman and she will tell you, this is the first step to infidelity.
It also makes many women feel as if the man is making a comparison which is not very comfortable for most women.
But Rotich refutes this. “Many of us just “feed the eyes” and the matter ends there, he says.
“It is wrong to assume that because we ogle other women, we want to take the ogling to another level such as infidelity. How many men do you find approaching the woman they are staring at?” he poses.
Randy Dudo, in his early 40s, admits that ogling at women is a weakness that many men have. They do it unconsciously, many times without any malice,” he says.
Dudo, confesses that it is hard these days not to stare at all the attractive women around especially seeing the way their dress codes leave little to the imagination.
“Many women are going out of their way to enhance their body shapes, especially the hips so they should not complain when we look.
“Look at all the tight fitting jeans and tight skirts being worn and how they are helping in boosting the shape and size of hips. They know men will be attracted and that is why they are investing a lot on this part of their anatomy,” says Dudo.
African men, he says, prefer women with a bit of flesh and not those mannequin-looking catwalk models but quickly adds “It is not about how big but how regular it goes in tandem with the rest of the body,” says Dudo.
John Ndogo admits he looks at a woman both from the front and the back.
“The breasts attract first, especially if they are not over-exposed. Contrary to popular belief, most men fear to be seen with a woman who is showing too much flesh as she may be mistaken for an immoral woman,” he says.
Ndogo, 32, , however, thinks there is no crime in a man looking at a woman’s body - the only challenge, according to him, would be what you do after that.
“There is a satisfaction that comes with admiring a woman’s body. But one must be careful not to make any moves that may be embarrassing or illegal,” says Ndogo.
Like Rotich, Ndogo believes a woman with curvaceous hips scores higher with men as she is seen as being more feminine.
“But of course her character also matters because it is not just a good body that makes a woman,” he observes.
Writing on how the shape of women’s bodies attracts male attention, author Michele Miller says many companies will use beautiful women in marketing blitzs.In “Why boobs and butts will always matter in advertising”, Miller is categorical, “ they will always get people talking.”
Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Monday, August 16, 2010
Personality Traits Men Find Attractive In Women
Everyone always wants to know how to be irresistible to men. How can you guarantee he will be all over you and not thinking about some other woman? A lot of it is in your personality. Here are ten different traits that men simply find irresistible in women.
1. Understanding. Men fall in love a lot quicker with women who are more understanding about who they are why they do the things they do. If you lack the ability to understand the men you date then you will most certainly not have a large pool of men to select from. The more understanding and accepting you are of the man you are dating, the more he will love and accept you for who you are.
2. A good sense of humor. Men can be serious sometimes, but they also love to kick back and joke around with their woman as well. The more playful you are the more they will tend to want to being around you.
3. Directness. Men do not like women who play games or never say what is on their minds. The more direct you are and the less you man has to guess about what is on your man the better.
4. Confidence. Men like women who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. The more comfortable you are with yourself the more attractive men will find you.
5. Dedication. Men want women who are dedicated to something, not flaky girls who have a lot of drama and switch boyfriends at the slightest whim.
6. Flexibility. The more adaptable you are to situations the more men will like you. Be spontaneous. Men will be more attracted to you if they know that you can get up and go at anytime without much notice.
7. Caring. This is one of the best personality traits men find attractive in a woman they want to marry. Men want you to show that you care about them and those around them -- their friends and family members.
8. Warmth. Like caring, men want a woman who is willing to show some emotion. The more affectionate and warm you are the more attractive they you become to men.
9. Intelligence. This is one of those very important qualities people do not talk about very much. Men frequently breakup relationships with beautiful women all the time because the women had only their beauty going for them. Men are attracted by women that are intelligent.
10. Honesty. This is the big one when it comes to romantic relationships that are fulfilling. Men want women who are honest, trustworthy, and sincere about their intentions.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): 10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): 10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN: "IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUSTARD QUERY BUT NOTE IT !!!!BY Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi Women are called the “fairer” sex for a reason, they ar..."
10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN
IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUSTARD QUERY BUT NOTE IT !!!!
BY Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi
Women are called the “fairer” sex for a reason, they are inherently capable of being more dainty and pleasing that the “grosser” sex, the men. As the saying goes, girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, which is why they are perfectly complementary to men. Men get turned on at the drop of a hat, and most women know that it does not take much for them have a man jumping the hoops. But as humans, men are just as prone to being repulsed by certain tendencies in women which induce a complete turn off. So what are the things that can turn off your man? aya tuende .....!!! one>>>>>
The “silent” treatment – most women have a tendency to use “silent” treatment when they are hurt or angry about a certain behavior in their man. They put on a cold front and refuse to reply in a normal manner. The usual reply to all the queries that a guy puts through would be a pert “nothing”. This is highly irritating to men and in many cases it makes them want to tear their hair off. A man would be much happier if his woman is willing to talk out the issues instead of starting a cold war.
Being a cold fish in the bed – Some women, through no fault of theirs, are completely unresponsive in the bed. A guy is bound to feel turned off and frustrated when he finds that he’s the only moving object on the bed. Sex is supposed to be playful and fun, entailing a lot of movements and noises. The more energetic it is, the more fun and pleasurable. There are many women have are very inhibited and shy about their sexuality which ends up making them act like a cold fish when in bed. Most men take it as a personal insult to their sexual prowess.
Facial and body hair growth – Men are hairy all over that’s the very reason why they are attracted to a hairless body in their woman (apart from the head hair and eye brows of course). Most men are turned on by waxed legs and arms, and they are equally turned off if they detect anything hairy on a woman’s body. Facial hair is a complete turn off for most men especially around the chin or lip area. This is not a judgment but a unconscious reaction.
Being overly possessive – Men are usually the “chasers” and they like to stay that way. If a guy finds out a girl is “chasing” him he is bound to lose his interest in her. To keep the guy interested the girl must remain to be a challenge. If she gets overly possessive about him it would just turn him off.
Too religious – Some women tend to get overly religious or spiritual which can be a huge turn off for men. It’s true that there are many men who are religious fanatics, who take their Gods too seriously, but these very men would find it a turn off to be with an overly religious woman, for very obvious reasons.
A nagging attitude – There is something about men that gets women to nag them especially as the relationship ages. Most men complain about the hard time they have contending with the continuous complaints and scorns that their wife dishes out in the name of “self improvement”. Women on the other hand have no clue what the fuss is all about, after all they are only trying to “improve” their man.
Too attached to her family – It’s quite a pain for most men to have to contend with their “in laws” owing to their wife’s obsessive attachment with her parents. There is nothing wrong with being attached to your parents as long as it does not start eating into the personal time that you should be spending with your husband, this is what most men feel. It’s quite frustrating for the guy to find his wife on phone with her mother through most of the evening.
Female chauvinism – A man and a woman are made in the image of god as the Bible puts it. And it’s quite obvious that a man needs a woman to complete him and vice versa. In spite of this there are certain people, in each sex, that end up becoming chauvinistic. A feministic attitude, or a bossy nature, in a woman is what men find extremely irritating, and it’s a big turn off. Many feminists would like men to conform to certain unnatural standards that are completely contrary to a manly nature, a woman who depicts such an attitude would soon find her man running away from her.
A lazy “home maker” – Men have been brought up to look at their woman as their home maker. There’s nothing chauvinistic about it because that was the natural order of things for a long time and it’s deeply embedded in male conditioning. So men love women who are good home makers and are turned off by a woman who expects the man to cook and clean. This may sound harsh to many feminists but this is what men feel inherently. Men are naturally quite bad at “home” management and so they rely on women to play this part in their life.
Too “career” oriented – There are many marriages that have gone into ruins because of the corporate culture of today’s age. It’s quite common for the husband and wife to be employed in most households, and this gives rise to many ego clashes and misunderstandings especially when the man finds his wife becoming too “career centric” to care for her family. Men have traditionally loved the feminine characteristics in a woman and being a home make is one of them. An overly career centric wife is usually a turn off for the man.
So these are the 10 common things that turn off most men. Women can come up with an infinite list of things about men that turns them off, because men quite easily can be the more obnoxious sex in more than one way. The fact remains that men and women complement each other and its beauty is most evident in an intimate, and healthy, relationship.
Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Friday, August 13, 2010
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS: " IT IS JUST LIKE THAT !!!!!!! By Evans pauperman Nyangw'echi Bad Boys. Love them ..."
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): New baby born kenya under new constitution
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): New baby born kenya under new constitution: "A public holiday that will remain sticky in the Kenyan calender and history for that matter is in the making. August 20 2010 will mark the e..."
WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS
IT IS JUST LIKE THAT !!!!!!!
By Evans pauperman Nyangw'echi
Bad Boys. Love them or hate them, the fact remains that women just can’t get enough of them. I’ve had friends who were clearly dating guys that were so poisonous to their lives. Trying to get them to see how unhealthy the dude was for them was like convincing a certain friend (no names) that flats are so last season. I will also admit that I’ve dated a bad boy or two. Not my wisest decision. I don’t regret it really; the ride was fun while it lasted. However, we have to know when we’re past the phase when we can use age as an excuse for our shenanigans.
Dating a bad boy is quite exhilarating. We usually get into the trap because they know exactly what to say,
how to say it, how to look at you, exactly where to touch you, etc. It’s like a well rehearsed play for them. They are experts at the game of seduction. For the expert bad boys, just a look is enough to have a woman’s brain turn to mush. Confidence is everything. Women love men who take charge and know what they want. Nice guys generally tend to be shyer than their counterparts, or slow to go for what they want. Basically they think too much.This type of man is quite a rush to be around. There’s never a dull moment. He’s always on the move with what may seem brilliant ideas of things to do. While the regular nice guy may suggest dinner in town at 8.00pm two weeks away and actually show up on time, the bad boy is more likely to suggest a random trip to Naivasha, right after clubbing all night; no need to even stop by the house for some toiletries. Let me explain what you should deduce from these two scenarios. The nice guy suggests dinner because he wants to get to know you as a person. The bad boy is just out for some fun, if you happen to be there, cool. If not, life will go on…
Women are also attracted to bad boys for the drama. Yeah I said it. Drama is the reason why we watch Nigerian movies and Mexican soap operas. We feed off drama. We love to have quite a story for the girls at the weekly committee meeting (Shout out to my girls Audrey and Sarah!). Whether he stood you up, didn’t call when he said he would, had the nerve to walk out on you or made you pay the bill when he’s the one who asked you out, we all love drama. A nice guy is stable and predictable. And what’s the fun in that, right?
There’s also what I like to call the Mama Nani Syndrome. Women love challenges. They think no matter how bad a guy is, they have this supernatural nurturing power to change him. Seriously, if he was brought up by his mother and that’s how he turned out, there’s nothing you will ever do to make him a better person, or turn him into the man you want him to be. He can only be the man he was when you met him. Don’t have false hopes. If you met him drinking like a fish, be prepared to live with mafans wa Tusker (or wa Kumi Kumi as I see women in Central complaining). If you stole him from your pal, resign to the fact that he’s weak and will probably be stolen from you.
I know I’ve really pumped up the bad boys. The bad news is that, for most women, this is just a phase. Reality has to bite sooner or later. Right now, I only have time for a man who is focused about where he is going and what he wants from life. Someone who will inspire me to be a better version of me. My bad boy days are long gone. I once went out with a guy who had cornrows, sagged his jeans and always had on NBA jerseys (one NBA jersey according to Audrey and Shirley). I can’t even imagine what I was thinking at the time. It was fun while it lasted. I would definitely not make that mistake again although I’m forgiven due to age. So while you enjoy with the bad boy, make sure you don’t miss out on the nice guy.Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Thursday, August 12, 2010
LEARN THE TALK OF THE TOWN (Seven things women are insecure about !!)
By Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi
- I think it's safe to say that no matter how confident they are, most women are insecure about a thing or two . . . especially when it comes to dating. Here are seven of the biggest ones, and what you can do about it.
#1) That you won't call
Women are always stressing over whether or not you're going to call them after a date. So if you tell her you're going to call her on Tuesday, call her on Tuesday.
But if that's just not your style, or you'd like to keep her guessing, don't give her a definite day when you'll call. It's better than breaking a promise, and it saves her from waiting for your call on a particular day.
#2) That you just want to sleep with her 
It's a fine line: if you make a move too soon, she'll think that's all you want. If you wait too long, she'll think you're not interested.
The best way to work this one is to just be sincere. If you're actually interested in a relationship, let her know. From there, she'll give you the signals to let you know when she's ready to get freaky.
#3) That you are dating other women
It's okay to casually date more than one person at the same time . . . as long as you're honest about it. You don't have to bring it up, but if SHE does, be honest.
But once you start sleeping together, or things seem to get more serious, she might assume you're exclusive. So it's only fair to let her know if that's NOT the case.
#4) That you are not interested
Even the most confident woman sometimes needs a reminder that you're interested in her. Even if you're months into the relationship . . . or even years . . . she'll still need reassurance now and then.
#5) That another woman is stealing your attention
There's nothing wrong with harmless flirting. But when you're out with her, you should devote your attention to HER.
The easiest way to think about it is to reverse it: How would you feel if she was flirting with another guy right in front of you?
#6) That you are cheating on her
If she's worried that you're cheating on her, there's usually a reason: maybe she's been cheated on before, or she knows you've done it in the past.
But if that's not the case . . . and even if you think she's being totally irrational . . . you're going to have to discuss the issue head-on and let her know that you're committed and have no intention of cheating.
#7) That she is not satisfying you in bed
Women worry about how they're doing in the sack, just like men do. So if things are going well, make sure you let her know.
And if things AREN'T going well, you've got to bring it up in the most sensitive way possible.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
KENYAN DRINKING CULTURE
By Evans pauperman Nyangwechi
In Kenya we drink mostly to get drunk and over time this has evolved into a definitive drinking culture. Most Kenyan men imbibe routinely. Only three groups of men are exempted from drinking; Religious zealots, the sick and rehabilitated alcoholics. Any one else turning down a drink is treated with suspicion.
Drinking is a defining characteristic of the Kenyan male.It is not an evolutionary coincidence that just about every society in the world has a means to getting smashed. In fact, proponents of the grain-for-beer-hypothesis claim that beer preceded bread. The universal need for mild intoxication must be nature’s way of providing a brief respite from the hardship that is life.
For many in Kenya, the first beer is considered proof of manhood, a rite of passage in the absence of traditional rituals. Later in life alcohol becomes a symbolic vehicle for the ritual transition from work to play and for many simply a leisure activity. Beer is the social leveler and usually the only reason you can at times share the same table with your boss. The bar is at the centre of community life. There are only two measures of respect in the bar. An unlimited spending capacity and the ability to get drunk without being a nuisance to the still sober. Buying a round of drinks for friends or strangers is a common custom. The Kenyan male never forgets the man who bought him a drink in lean times. Nevertheless do not mistake this for generosity. The so called round is disguised as a gift but in reality, it is actually a loan. In time, you will be expected to reciprocate and anyone who fails to will be considered a mean bastard. The free booze phenomenon offers interesting insight into our drinking culture. People are more tolerant to alcohol whenever payment is not required. Their capacity to imbibe increases tenfold as soon as the words, “Booze on the house” are mentioned. Surprisingly though, not every one can feed themselves, but just about anyone can get drunk no matter how low their station in life.
In Kenya when an unaccompanied woman accepts a drink from a stranger it is perceived as consent to courtship. Therefore women are advised not to accept drinks from men they do not fancy. Frustrated wives will tell you that boozed hubbies do not make great bed fellows. The choice of beverage is also a significant indicator of social status. Nonetheless, what you drink is more of an expression of your aspirations than your actual position in the social ladder. Thus the Bailey’s sipping lady who thinks she is trendy and sophisticated is actually viewed as a struggling wannabe. Wine is normally a sign of refined taste but not when out of a carton with a picture of grapes on it. There exists a standing gender based classification of drinks. Female drinks can be distinguished from masculine ones because they are often sweeter, weaker and cost more per measure. On most occasions they are not even considered alcoholic. A story is told of a Kenyan male who knocked down a lamp post. When the cops asked the driver whether he was drunk, he replied, “Of course not! I only had Smirnoff Ice”.
Whilst traditionally drunken behavior during festive occasions was generally peaceful, agreeable and good natured, the newly adopted drinking cultures gave a rise to a different kind of drunkenness associated with aggression and anti social behavior. The cultural solutions that countered the potential dangers of excessive consumption of alcohol have been forgotten. The Kenyan drunk still lives by the mantra, “The car knows its way home”. Indeed, Kenyans are ambivalent toward drinking. Drinkers are tolerated as long as they behave. Despite the well documented ill effects of alcohol a significant portion continues to profess a dying love for it comparable only to nicotine addiction. While the cigarette manufacturer pretty much tells you that you may die from smoking, the beer seller tells you, all will be well as long as you drink responsibly. It is a catch-22. Responsible drinking is achieved only after the experience of irresponsible drinking. The sober mind today is often yesterday’s drunk. Legislatively, a ban could be easily enforced as overzealous District Commissioners have done in the past but that would not stop people from drinking. The United States tried it once in their history and prohibition only ended up making Al Capone very rich. The church also attempted to throw in some stern warnings but it lost the moral argument awhile back when men of cloth succumbed hence the phrase, “Preaching water and drinking wine”.
Drinking for Kenyans is more than a moral issue. The norm has been to blame the victims for getting caught up in a destructive habit. The alcoholic is merely a victim in a game of proceeds. When you sell a product that is able to cause drunkenness, I would think the decent thing to do would be to inform the user of all the likely dangers associated with its excessive use. If moderation means one beer an hour, it should be stated clearly on the bottle. However, individual variations in, body weight and alcohol tolerance, as well as factors such as speed of consumption; renders that piece of advice into disputable. Some fellows will get trashed on two beers while others will work their way through half a crate without so much as a twitch. Invariably it is the drinker’s task to deduce their capacity.
Consequently alcohol abuse remains a potential risk. In order to manage the problematic aspects of drinking and the promotion of a less draining drinking culture, Kenyans must remain informed. A good place to start would be more honest advertising. With profitability, comes responsibility.
Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com
In Kenya we drink mostly to get drunk and over time this has evolved into a definitive drinking culture. Most Kenyan men imbibe routinely. Only three groups of men are exempted from drinking; Religious zealots, the sick and rehabilitated alcoholics. Any one else turning down a drink is treated with suspicion.
Drinking is a defining characteristic of the Kenyan male.It is not an evolutionary coincidence that just about every society in the world has a means to getting smashed. In fact, proponents of the grain-for-beer-hypothesis claim that beer preceded bread. The universal need for mild intoxication must be nature’s way of providing a brief respite from the hardship that is life.
For many in Kenya, the first beer is considered proof of manhood, a rite of passage in the absence of traditional rituals. Later in life alcohol becomes a symbolic vehicle for the ritual transition from work to play and for many simply a leisure activity. Beer is the social leveler and usually the only reason you can at times share the same table with your boss. The bar is at the centre of community life. There are only two measures of respect in the bar. An unlimited spending capacity and the ability to get drunk without being a nuisance to the still sober. Buying a round of drinks for friends or strangers is a common custom. The Kenyan male never forgets the man who bought him a drink in lean times. Nevertheless do not mistake this for generosity. The so called round is disguised as a gift but in reality, it is actually a loan. In time, you will be expected to reciprocate and anyone who fails to will be considered a mean bastard. The free booze phenomenon offers interesting insight into our drinking culture. People are more tolerant to alcohol whenever payment is not required. Their capacity to imbibe increases tenfold as soon as the words, “Booze on the house” are mentioned. Surprisingly though, not every one can feed themselves, but just about anyone can get drunk no matter how low their station in life.
In Kenya when an unaccompanied woman accepts a drink from a stranger it is perceived as consent to courtship. Therefore women are advised not to accept drinks from men they do not fancy. Frustrated wives will tell you that boozed hubbies do not make great bed fellows. The choice of beverage is also a significant indicator of social status. Nonetheless, what you drink is more of an expression of your aspirations than your actual position in the social ladder. Thus the Bailey’s sipping lady who thinks she is trendy and sophisticated is actually viewed as a struggling wannabe. Wine is normally a sign of refined taste but not when out of a carton with a picture of grapes on it. There exists a standing gender based classification of drinks. Female drinks can be distinguished from masculine ones because they are often sweeter, weaker and cost more per measure. On most occasions they are not even considered alcoholic. A story is told of a Kenyan male who knocked down a lamp post. When the cops asked the driver whether he was drunk, he replied, “Of course not! I only had Smirnoff Ice”.
Whilst traditionally drunken behavior during festive occasions was generally peaceful, agreeable and good natured, the newly adopted drinking cultures gave a rise to a different kind of drunkenness associated with aggression and anti social behavior. The cultural solutions that countered the potential dangers of excessive consumption of alcohol have been forgotten. The Kenyan drunk still lives by the mantra, “The car knows its way home”. Indeed, Kenyans are ambivalent toward drinking. Drinkers are tolerated as long as they behave. Despite the well documented ill effects of alcohol a significant portion continues to profess a dying love for it comparable only to nicotine addiction. While the cigarette manufacturer pretty much tells you that you may die from smoking, the beer seller tells you, all will be well as long as you drink responsibly. It is a catch-22. Responsible drinking is achieved only after the experience of irresponsible drinking. The sober mind today is often yesterday’s drunk. Legislatively, a ban could be easily enforced as overzealous District Commissioners have done in the past but that would not stop people from drinking. The United States tried it once in their history and prohibition only ended up making Al Capone very rich. The church also attempted to throw in some stern warnings but it lost the moral argument awhile back when men of cloth succumbed hence the phrase, “Preaching water and drinking wine”.
Drinking for Kenyans is more than a moral issue. The norm has been to blame the victims for getting caught up in a destructive habit. The alcoholic is merely a victim in a game of proceeds. When you sell a product that is able to cause drunkenness, I would think the decent thing to do would be to inform the user of all the likely dangers associated with its excessive use. If moderation means one beer an hour, it should be stated clearly on the bottle. However, individual variations in, body weight and alcohol tolerance, as well as factors such as speed of consumption; renders that piece of advice into disputable. Some fellows will get trashed on two beers while others will work their way through half a crate without so much as a twitch. Invariably it is the drinker’s task to deduce their capacity.
Consequently alcohol abuse remains a potential risk. In order to manage the problematic aspects of drinking and the promotion of a less draining drinking culture, Kenyans must remain informed. A good place to start would be more honest advertising. With profitability, comes responsibility.
Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
THE DAILY STRUGGLE
By Evans pauperman Nyangwechi
I write this for many who are like me, in the midst of an unexpected storm, a bewildering disappointment, a heart-breaking loss. I write for the tears that can't stop falling, even though we try to be strong, we try to move on, we listen to the voices that keep telling us 'the storm will be over, God knows best, pick up the pieces.' We listen and we understand and we believe…but the truth is… it's not that easy. It's not that easy to forget, for me, 9 years, for others a lifetime or for some, too little time.
I'm claiming the promises of God and believing that He'll see me through, I know He will, it's not too hard to believe that, but the difficulty lies in the daily struggle… waking up every day to the memory of what once was, to the loss of the only love you've ever known, to the pain and to the tears…The days suddenly seem much longer, you smile but it never reaches your eyes, and you wonder…for how long will it be like this.
For anyone who can identify with my pain right now, who's fighting a similar battle, let us just keep on going. Let's take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. It's hard to see the sun rising over the horizon, when the sun just faded into darkness and misery, but let's keep the faith.
Our lives are not over, this may be a major setback, but we'll pull through. Let's embrace life with as much joy and enthusiasm and fire that we used to. Don't let your circumstances destroy your spirit. God is in control! It's okay to cry sometimes, it's okay to feel troubled but let's try and remember that it will get better. It's just a matter of time. The daily struggle will one day be over.
Email: enyangwechi@yahoo.com
I write this for many who are like me, in the midst of an unexpected storm, a bewildering disappointment, a heart-breaking loss. I write for the tears that can't stop falling, even though we try to be strong, we try to move on, we listen to the voices that keep telling us 'the storm will be over, God knows best, pick up the pieces.' We listen and we understand and we believe…but the truth is… it's not that easy. It's not that easy to forget, for me, 9 years, for others a lifetime or for some, too little time.
I'm claiming the promises of God and believing that He'll see me through, I know He will, it's not too hard to believe that, but the difficulty lies in the daily struggle… waking up every day to the memory of what once was, to the loss of the only love you've ever known, to the pain and to the tears…The days suddenly seem much longer, you smile but it never reaches your eyes, and you wonder…for how long will it be like this.
For anyone who can identify with my pain right now, who's fighting a similar battle, let us just keep on going. Let's take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. It's hard to see the sun rising over the horizon, when the sun just faded into darkness and misery, but let's keep the faith.
Our lives are not over, this may be a major setback, but we'll pull through. Let's embrace life with as much joy and enthusiasm and fire that we used to. Don't let your circumstances destroy your spirit. God is in control! It's okay to cry sometimes, it's okay to feel troubled but let's try and remember that it will get better. It's just a matter of time. The daily struggle will one day be over.
Email: enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Monday, August 9, 2010
Overcome The Negative Thoughts To Live The Life You Want
Insight To A Better Way Of Living Life
By Evans pauperman Nyangwechi
In a matter of seconds, my life was thrashed in every direction possible, leaving my emotions and me in a vigorous frenzy. Overwhelming emotions, thoughts, and feelings began flooding into every part of my body. The confusion of not knowing where I was and what just happened was enough to create a major panic. Natural reactions instinctively occurred easing my pain, which caused me to be calm and collective while I assessed my wreck. After realizing my available options, I reacted quickly to better my chances for safety. Through the awful pain, that increasingly grew worse by each second, I stopped and thought about certain cinematic situations that were similar, causing me to smile and even let out a small giggle. The humor caused a brief, yet instant relief of my pain and worries, allowing me to advance to safety without even realizing it. Looking back, I now see that my mind/body was instinctively reacting in a way that my focus was to safety, leaving no reason to give up. Dealing with all my emotions and confusion I found myself lost in a constant swirl of wonder. This wonder was nothing more than me thinking what could've happened if something was different. These constant thoughts lead me nowhere but down when I then realized the opposite side I've forgotten. One should absolutely have no need to grieve over a situation that could've happened, but simply take the situation that did happen for what it was to move on. This feeling lingered around slightly even through the mental wars I've battled through. This feeling was suddenly washed away as fast as my life had shook to the ground. A feeling of certainty overwhelmed me, allowing my sleepless nights to disappear. It was then that I realized my body didn't give up on me through the absolute worst thing I've ever gone through. A sign I could never ignore. I gave it a lot of thought as it became very clear. My body was my weapon and my mind was the ammunition. I shot up and out of this slump as quickly, if not faster than I got into it. No more feeling of shame and no more feeling of sorrow. My body and mind collectively had withstood the most amounts of pain and struggles that I've ever encountered in my life overall combined. The clouds in my mind parted, leaving me nothing but a well lit path to continue on with life's journey. The pain and suffering were gone mentally and the physical wounds remained; just a matter of time. My pure senses of relief lead me to have the fastest recovery physically, which was often commented on by Drs. and Therapists. The fusion of my mind and body allowed me to rise up and overcome the worst situation I've ever dealt with. You too can overcome and conquer, as long as you assimilate every part of you and stick to it.
By Evans pauperman Nyangwechi
In a matter of seconds, my life was thrashed in every direction possible, leaving my emotions and me in a vigorous frenzy. Overwhelming emotions, thoughts, and feelings began flooding into every part of my body. The confusion of not knowing where I was and what just happened was enough to create a major panic. Natural reactions instinctively occurred easing my pain, which caused me to be calm and collective while I assessed my wreck. After realizing my available options, I reacted quickly to better my chances for safety. Through the awful pain, that increasingly grew worse by each second, I stopped and thought about certain cinematic situations that were similar, causing me to smile and even let out a small giggle. The humor caused a brief, yet instant relief of my pain and worries, allowing me to advance to safety without even realizing it. Looking back, I now see that my mind/body was instinctively reacting in a way that my focus was to safety, leaving no reason to give up. Dealing with all my emotions and confusion I found myself lost in a constant swirl of wonder. This wonder was nothing more than me thinking what could've happened if something was different. These constant thoughts lead me nowhere but down when I then realized the opposite side I've forgotten. One should absolutely have no need to grieve over a situation that could've happened, but simply take the situation that did happen for what it was to move on. This feeling lingered around slightly even through the mental wars I've battled through. This feeling was suddenly washed away as fast as my life had shook to the ground. A feeling of certainty overwhelmed me, allowing my sleepless nights to disappear. It was then that I realized my body didn't give up on me through the absolute worst thing I've ever gone through. A sign I could never ignore. I gave it a lot of thought as it became very clear. My body was my weapon and my mind was the ammunition. I shot up and out of this slump as quickly, if not faster than I got into it. No more feeling of shame and no more feeling of sorrow. My body and mind collectively had withstood the most amounts of pain and struggles that I've ever encountered in my life overall combined. The clouds in my mind parted, leaving me nothing but a well lit path to continue on with life's journey. The pain and suffering were gone mentally and the physical wounds remained; just a matter of time. My pure senses of relief lead me to have the fastest recovery physically, which was often commented on by Drs. and Therapists. The fusion of my mind and body allowed me to rise up and overcome the worst situation I've ever dealt with. You too can overcome and conquer, as long as you assimilate every part of you and stick to it.
pauperman man-talk: New baby born kenya under new constitution
pauperman man-talk: New baby born kenya under new constitution: "A public holiday that will remain sticky in the Kenyan calender and history for that matter is in the making. August 20 2010 will mark the e..."
New baby born kenya under new constitution
A public holiday that will remain sticky in the Kenyan calender and history for that matter is in the making. August 20 2010 will mark the end the country’s decades-long quest for a better governance architecture.
Under the road-map guiding constitution making, the President is required to sign into law the new Constitution within 14 days after the IIEC announces the ratification by Kenyans.
Reliable sources from the kitchen cabinet have hinted to supremacy sounds writer on the preparations that are being done in regards to the ceremony to mark the historic event of adopting a new constitution after Kenyans voted for it last week on Wednesday.
"the new constitutional dispensation must be ushered in with pomp and fanfare." one amongst the equals in the cabinet said.
"It is on the basis of this government decision that this week the President will send invitations to presidents of African countries and members of the Panel of Eminent African Personalities chaired by Mr Annan." voice of one amongst the equals in the cabinet emphasized.
The international community, led by the president of America, are supportive of the new Constitution, and will also send high profile representatives to witness the rebirth of the Kenyan nation.
How else would we say the journey has just begun? stay tuned to one amongst equals as he penetrates the walls to bring you the lattes happening all in real time.
Under the road-map guiding constitution making, the President is required to sign into law the new Constitution within 14 days after the IIEC announces the ratification by Kenyans.
Reliable sources from the kitchen cabinet have hinted to supremacy sounds writer on the preparations that are being done in regards to the ceremony to mark the historic event of adopting a new constitution after Kenyans voted for it last week on Wednesday.
"the new constitutional dispensation must be ushered in with pomp and fanfare." one amongst the equals in the cabinet said.
"It is on the basis of this government decision that this week the President will send invitations to presidents of African countries and members of the Panel of Eminent African Personalities chaired by Mr Annan." voice of one amongst the equals in the cabinet emphasized.
The international community, led by the president of America, are supportive of the new Constitution, and will also send high profile representatives to witness the rebirth of the Kenyan nation.
How else would we say the journey has just begun? stay tuned to one amongst equals as he penetrates the walls to bring you the lattes happening all in real time.
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