Each time you discharge an obvious compliment, your next shot loses power. Like they were
Confederate dollars, your Quarry begins to devalue conspicuous compliments. You can use
empathy, make approval noises, and imply your praise early with your Quarry. But save up for the
killer compliment.
What is the killer compliment? It's not, "Gee, I like your tie." A killer compliment is a knock-'em
dead, on-target, outright compliment which takes your Quarry's breath away.
In my communications seminars, I trick people into killer complimenting another participant. Early in
my program, I ask the participants to get to know another participant by chatting for a few minutes.
Later in the program, I instruct them to close their eyes and recall one outstanding positive quality
about the person they spoke with. I say, "Not anything you would necessarily tell the other person,
but some very private positive observation about them." Perhaps their conversational partner had a
wonderfully warm smile or there was a spiritual air about them. "The quality can be physical," I tell
them, "or it can concern their personality." Everybody has at least one good quality.
Page 146
Then I say, "OK, now, open your eyes, and tell them what you were thinking."
"What, tell them?" They are in shock. "Actually tell the other person the private thought I was
having about them?"
"Yes! Tell them." I remind them that I said to think of a compliment that they would not necessarily
tell the other person.
They give each other killer compliments, and the result is a joy to watch. After the first wave of
nervous laughter sweeps the crowd, smiles and warm blushes break out all over. Friendships are
forming right and left. Everybody enjoys receiving their killer compliment, and practically everybody
develops warm feelings toward the person who gave it to them.
What kinds of killer compliments have they just heard? Lovely sentiments like: "You have a terrific
sense of humor," "What penetrating deep brown eyes you have," "I thought you were a dancer. You
move so gracefully," ''I noticed your hands. They're like a pianist's," "I sense an aesthetic quality
about you,'' or "I love your teeth!"
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Friday, September 10, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Male and female Egoism and love
Frankly speaking, the egoism is a genderless feeling and it is not quite right to talk about the male and female egoism. Though men and women are creatures of different characters and natures and so there are some peculiarities of egoism common for a man and egoism common for a woman. Actually, the difference is common for the consequences.
Here we are going to talk about the consequences the male egoism is pregnant with. The egoistic man is a man who develops his life only around his precious self and he never notices other people around him. He never notices other people and their interests and their needs and their troubles. And he always bothers about his own problems.
In case there is nothing wrong with his life he starts complaining about the unfairness of this life and he is always looking for problems in other people. He will never realize that he is the only reason for those fails he has and he will always blame other people in things that go wrong in his life. In case he will act like this he will never manage to find the solution for his problems.
The egoistic man is a man who will never be a good husband and a good father. He will never notice the loneliness and pain in the eyes of his wife and he will never care about problems of his son who needs him more than anything in this life.
Where there is egoism there is no place for love. There is no way for love to live next to egoism. Egoism kills love. We are not talking about the rational egoism that only makes people to care about their interest, but we are talking about the egoism most people are irritated with, the egoism that makes one believe that he or she is the main person in this world.
See, egoist is pretty sure that this world is for him or her only and he or she is the main person in this world. According to this, they are expecting other people do thing for them, things that will make the life of egoist better. In case people never do those things they grow offended with the fact they are not loved by those people, this is the only way they will recognize your behavior.
And you will fail to explain for an egoist that he or she is wrong in his or her behavior. The egoist is pretty sure that he or she is always right and other people just can't understand it. So, your efforts you will apply in order to open the eyes of egoist will only make him or her close the eyes harder and a person will get offended with your words.
Egoist in love is the main reason for the love to be over. He or she always hurt people and never see it. And no one will explain them that they are wrong, and the one who will try will be recognized as an egoist (!) and betrayer.
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Here we are going to talk about the consequences the male egoism is pregnant with. The egoistic man is a man who develops his life only around his precious self and he never notices other people around him. He never notices other people and their interests and their needs and their troubles. And he always bothers about his own problems.
In case there is nothing wrong with his life he starts complaining about the unfairness of this life and he is always looking for problems in other people. He will never realize that he is the only reason for those fails he has and he will always blame other people in things that go wrong in his life. In case he will act like this he will never manage to find the solution for his problems.
The egoistic man is a man who will never be a good husband and a good father. He will never notice the loneliness and pain in the eyes of his wife and he will never care about problems of his son who needs him more than anything in this life.
Where there is egoism there is no place for love. There is no way for love to live next to egoism. Egoism kills love. We are not talking about the rational egoism that only makes people to care about their interest, but we are talking about the egoism most people are irritated with, the egoism that makes one believe that he or she is the main person in this world.
See, egoist is pretty sure that this world is for him or her only and he or she is the main person in this world. According to this, they are expecting other people do thing for them, things that will make the life of egoist better. In case people never do those things they grow offended with the fact they are not loved by those people, this is the only way they will recognize your behavior.
And you will fail to explain for an egoist that he or she is wrong in his or her behavior. The egoist is pretty sure that he or she is always right and other people just can't understand it. So, your efforts you will apply in order to open the eyes of egoist will only make him or her close the eyes harder and a person will get offended with your words.
Egoist in love is the main reason for the love to be over. He or she always hurt people and never see it. And no one will explain them that they are wrong, and the one who will try will be recognized as an egoist (!) and betrayer.
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