MARRIED? NEVER, EVER MAKE THESE MISTAKES!!!

HAVING a master’s degree, speaking proper English or being extremely beautiful are not necessarily qualities that will keep a husband happy. In fact, nine out of 10 men polled by All Woman confessed that a woman’s brain power comes second to her desirability when it comes to keeping them interested.
According to my knowledge, “for women beauty fades, smarts is forever; for men beauty goes, he runs for another.”
“Don’t ever fall for the misconceived belief that you can settle into ‘housewife mode’ after marriage because you already have the man.“I can tell you that from the Christian to the pauper; from the rich man to the professor, they want one thing — desirability. All else is secondary.”
So, are you one of those women who have become complacent in marriage? Are thongs now your enemy, hair rollers and old T-shirts at nights your friend; and are you comfortable enough to have a conversation with him while doing your business in the bathroom? “Stop it now,” Evans pauperman warned. And...
1. Do maintain your appearance.
Do remain physically attractive. Remain pretty for him. Change your clothes often and do change your hairstyle once in a while to keep him from getting bored with you. Your nails should be well kept. Don’t think he loves you unconditionally and that now that you are married you have him in the palm of your hands and use that as an excuse to eat loads of donuts and gain excess pounds. He won’t love you for you, if you blossom into someone he doesn’t recognize.
2. Don’t use sex as a weapon.
Some wives take great pleasure in doing this. If their demands are not met, or if their husbands upset them in any way, there will be no bedroom fun for days or even weeks! Ladies, learn to have a little mercy on your other half and do not deny him his sexual privileges or he’ll seek them elsewhere.
3. Don’t play Nancy Drew with him.
Ladies, give your man his privacy. Breaking into your husband’s Facebook or Myspace account is not acceptable. He’ll feel jailed if you’re always on his case about everything. And like all jailbirds, he’ll feel the urge to flee.
4. Be discreet.
It’s not ladylike to fart or burp in the presence of your husband, even accidentally. Passing gas is a male pastime, something seemingly innocent to men, and men alone. To your husband it may be extremely funny when he does it but will seem disgusting and could be a major turnoff when it is done by you.
5. Do be his mistress in bed.
Bingo bags and ‘parachute’ panties are forbidden not only in the bedroom but during marriage. So are rollers, unsexy nightgowns and castor oil-aroma skin. Instead opt for sexy lingerie and a little Victoria’s Secret fragrance. Never fail to try new tricks in the bedroom. Be his mistress. In other words, be a lady on the streets and a freak beneath the sheets.
6. Do not use silence as a weapon.
It is often said that some things are better left unsaid, but silence can also be a deadly weapon which can kill your marriage. This is a form of emotional banishment and some ladies sometimes use this as a way of cutting off their partners for days or even weeks when conflicts arise. Wives, refusing to acknowledge your husbands’ existence has no place in your marriage. This will only send him sprinting away from the marriage. Instead, think of a more suitable way to express resentment so that the problems may be heard, acknowledged and resolved.
7. Don’t pluck, shave or use Nair in front of him.
Some personal activities and items should just not be seen by your husband. These include the plucking of your eyebrows, chin and other hairy body parts. Sleeping with a facial mask on is prohibited. Using the toilet in his plain view will disgust him. Slathering on Nair to get rid of your mustache will weird him out. Discussions about your period should be reserved for the girls. Reserve some amount of mystique with him. Once the mystery goes, so does the interest.
8. Don’t be too spiritual
Of course, acknowledgment of God is extremely important but do not be quick to judge and quote a verse from the Bible every time he messes up. Never behave as if you are the spiritual guru who is always saving the marriage and your family from the wrath of God. Also, never force religion on your husband and constantly threaten that if he does not baptized and accept the Lord as his personal savior you are going to file for divorce. Your husband has a mind of his own and in time he may accept or choose his form of religion.
9. Do respect yourself
Acknowledge your limitations on your time, energy and abilities. Give what you can to your husband, but do take care of yourself too. And, by all means, never tolerate being abused, raged at, betrayed, or manipulated. Those behavior patterns should never, ever be acceptable in your marriage even if it is once and he promises under oath not to repeat his actions. If you do, he will indeed lose respect for you.

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES IS WEARING ...

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES IS WEARING ...: " BY EVANS PAUPERMAN NYANG'WECHI One would think this was basic information that every wife who actually loves her husband understands...."

HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES IS WEARING THE ROYAL NAVY NUMBER ONE DRESS (CEREMONIAL) TO THE WEDDING OF PRINCE WILLIAM AND MISS CATHERINE MIDDLETON

 BY EVANS PAUPERMAN NYANG'WECHI


One would think this was basic information that every wife who actually loves her husband understands. Unfortunately ignorance is a bit more commonplace. For starters, before marriage when a woman holds out on a man, keeping him waiting on the promise of sex after nuptials at the very least make it worth his while. Give him a reason to come home at least from Monday through to Thursday before the evening news. Most men want to continue adoring their brides.
I see men filling the bars on Monday nights and I empathize with the brothers. They are normally hardworking men who succumbed to the promise only to end up with rationed conjugal rights from the woman who is the love of their life. Most have nothing to look forward to. Hardly two years into marriage and the man is bored flaccid. Some bury themselves in work and end up making a lot more money, which tends to create a new set of complications.
The more money a man makes the more attractive he becomes or half of those paunchy geeky types enjoying extended midlife without any crisis would not stand a chance. Venture into any up-market nightclub in Nairobi city and you are guaranteed to spot a few holding court with stunning company. These young naive girls will dismiss you simply because you order wine by the glass and not by the bottle. Usually, the outspoken connoisseur still lives with her parents. The kids know the game and play it with juvenile ease. Basic rules are: the bigger the car, the sexier the man. I do not even know why guys bother going to the gym. Women do not expect men to be shapely or attractive. Do not be confused by the movies and existing propaganda. A woman may want a Romeo along with her as a boyfriend just to make her girlfriends envious but when it comes to marriage or survival all they require is a spine and some money.
Many future husbands will try hard to meet this central requirement. One would then expect some measure of sustained acknowledgement at home from the first lady considering the sanctions imposed on a man’s right to free association. I say this since men are reduced to expecting women to take the lead in sex after marriage. Before the compromised walk down the aisle, most blokes strive to live up to the mythology of the stud even as we concede that many, fall way below par. Nevertheless after the vows, they look forward to some excitement given the legality of the new arrangement. They imagine that passion would alleviate the monotony of a mundane existence.  But instead of walking home to open arms and a warmer bed, all they get is attitude. Most women refuse to engage in anything more than just lying there. What is a man to do? The same routine over and over again! Perhaps it has not occurred to some wives that a husband’s most basic needs are sex and food. A girlfriend and mother all wrapped up in one. Even pastors should be forgiven for looking towards the choir for relief. Many will find mothers in marriage but for excitement they forage elsewhere. Naturally you pay through your nose for something you should get free at home but sometimes you reckon, “It is worth the hassle”. Much like patiently waiting in line for a parking spot at your favorite pub.
Polygamy is no longer an economically viable escape so many men opt for one-night stunts with willing lasses who accord them much-needed acknowledgement. It is regrettable that the reasons put across for lack of active participation in these matters by guilty wives are rooted in ignorance. In the year 2010, a time when my grandma in shags gets to send me text messages, they are wives who still will not touch their legally married partners in passion. These are activities at the heart of male intimacy. Have you noticed that women who take great pleasure in receiving never take the lead in giving? If that is not plain old selfish, then I do not know what it is? He is your husband sanctioned by law? It therefore is not against any law to give him a little extra treatment. Men expect women to be wild in bed. Meanwhile wives still want to be proper, worrying about their hair and the neighbors. Ask for a little more enthusiasm and the request is squashed without further consideration. Boredom sets in and the mistress option pops up

EMAIL:enpauperman@gmail.com

.......................OF SEX AND INFLUENCE!!!

Oxford dictionary defines the term, an “influential figure” as, “Somebody or something that affects the way a person behaves or thinks”. So when I ask, “ Class! Can you give me an example of an influential figure”, you will probably go down wide road and bring back Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa and expectedly, Oprah. Hardly, the correct answer. Allow me to elaborate. Have you ever met a woman so stunningly beautiful that you walk into a room with her and everyone starts wondering what she saw in you? Now that is an influential figure. A figure so aesthetically pleasing painters scramble to do the nude. The female body is art form and men are exceedingly visual. The woman who understands this acquires the leverage of sexual influence. Honestly, the male form pales in comparison, unless you are talking about the nudes captured Angela Fisher book, Africa Adorned. Here is an illustration.


People who walk around naked (not nudists) are called wenda wazimu (mad people) in this country. The nude crazy male is normally tolerated and save for a few women peering for size comparison, they are a mild amusement at best. Now, the naked female loony generates a totally different reaction. I once saw a nude woman in the city. She was very docile, almost meek but presence caused a genuine public disturbance. Take my word for it; she had a seriously well toned body, a lot better than most women I know. I suppose a lean diet and lots of walking does bring results.

Thanks to fashion, a woman can gain influence over most men without uttering a single word. The female body is a web of sexual signals. Front, back or sideways, it always evokes favorable response. Men wear clothes to conceal devices and for comfort. Women however, use them mostly for display and those with assets rule.

When the shapely woman moves, her hourglass figure gives her graceful gait or so it appears. Therefore any woman who is above average beauty either in face or form can have overwhelming sexual influence over men in the workplace. It actually has a wider biblical context. Adam was under the influence of Eve’s figuratively speaking, when he bit into that apple. Sexual influence in the workplace is real; and beginning to take precedence of over competence. What do you expect when you put men in charge? Two women of equal academic qualification are called for an interview. The panel as usual will be predominantly male. No prizes for guessing who they would hire between Miss Long legs and chubby cheeks?

Fat on men is suitably deposited in the front. In women it tends to go around to the back. Nonetheless a woman protruding both ways has little hope at a sexual display and subsequently influence quickly diminishes.

That’s why I hasten to advise aspiring corporate women to work out in the gym more often, drink less and eat more fruit. The corporate arena is still a man’s world and body image counts. Frontal assets can be enhanced by lower cleavage while shapely rears should be draped in revealing fabric or constricting outfits. Keen anthropologists tell us that the female body parts are visual elements that arouse lingering interest from the male onlooker. Women feed off such attention.

When a woman combines sexual influence and brains she becomes what most married men consider an investment. Women still refuse to take advantage of this option opting instead to engage us in pointless debates on gender equality.

The female body is a deep well of gender signals. The omissions of nature can be corrected by extra support and padding. Cosmetics are of great value. Make up has a function; to make one look younger, prettier and to get men all fidgety. Unfortunately, it does not miraculously eliminate perceived physical flaws.

But in a mad rush to join the privileged diva class, many women continue to haplessly break the etiquette barrier. Desmond Morris author of The Naked Ape, a non fictional anthropological classic, calls it overexposure. It is a signal which although not unusual in itself, gains attention because it is performed in a slightly more public context than expected. Some of the cleavage displays on the market are startling and if we have to see those thighs, at least, guarantee the audience a smoother experience. Excessive body hair on women is simply a hairy encounter. Admittedly, there is a blurry line between ignorant and tasteful exposure. Beauty still rests in the eye of the beholder.

I suppose such is life. The rules are never impartial. Only the fair and influential damsels qualify for the lead part in the fairy tale

The International Criminal Court has set aside an application by the government seeking to have the admissibility of the Ocampo six case heard before the suspects appear in court later this week.

The Judges of Pre-Trial Chamber II say the Rome Statute and the Rules of Procedure and Evidence do not provide for any specific time-limit during which the Judges should make a decision regarding this application, and that the ongoing judicial proceedings will not stop.

A brief statement from the ICC on Monday said the judges were in the process of reviewing the application.

"The Judges of Pre-Trial Chamber II have received the Application on behalf of the Government of the Republic of Kenya pursuant to Article 19 of the ICC Statute and are currently in the process of reviewing the application," the statement on the ICC website said.

It added: "The Rome Statute and the Rules of Procedure and Evidence do not provide for any specific time-limit during which the Judges should make a decision regarding this application, and the ongoing judicial proceedings will not stop."

Attorney General Amos Wako announced last Thursday that the government had hired Counsels, Geoffrey Nice QC and Rodney Dixon, Barrister-at-Law to handle the suit.

"This is to confirm that Counsels, Sir Geoffrey Nice Q.C. and Rodney Dixon, Barrister-at-Law have today, on behalf of the Government of Kenya, filed an application pursuant to Article 19 of the Rome Statute establishing the International Criminal Court (ICC), respectfully requesting the Pre-Trial Chamber to determine that the two cases currently before the ICC are inadmissible before the I.C.C," Wako said at the time.

But even as the government filed the admissibility case, the ICC warned that the suit had little chances of success because Kenya has not established a credible judicial mechanism to try the suspects locally.

The Outreach Unit of the ICC advised last month that such plans could only succeed if the persons accused were facing similar charges at their local national courts at the time of challenging The Hague trials.

Sources privy to the suit filed in The Hague told Capital Newsbeat that the government had argued that the cases against the six individuals are not admissible before the ICC because the country is in the process of reforming its judicial and police systems to be able to try them at home.

Those required to appear at The Hague include Deputy Prime Minister Uhuru Kenyatta, Head of the Civil Service Ambassador Francis Muthaura, suspended Higher Education Minister William Ruto and Tinderet Member of Parliament Henry Kosgey who stepped aside to face charges of abuse of office.

Others are former Police Commissioner Mohammed Hussein Ali and Radio presenter Joshua arap Sang of Kass FM.

Mr Sang, Mr Ruto and Mr Kosgey are due before the court on April 7 while Mr Kenyatta, Mr Muthaura and Maj Gen (Rtd) Ali will make an appearance on April 8.

Their summonses to appear were issued last month following a majority ruling by the Pre-Trial Chamber judges who established that the six are criminally responsible for organizing or funding the post election violence which broke out in the country soon after the disputed presidential elections in 2008.