Each time you discharge an obvious compliment, your next shot loses power. Like they were
Confederate dollars, your Quarry begins to devalue conspicuous compliments. You can use
empathy, make approval noises, and imply your praise early with your Quarry. But save up for the
killer compliment.
What is the killer compliment? It's not, "Gee, I like your tie." A killer compliment is a knock-'em
dead, on-target, outright compliment which takes your Quarry's breath away.
In my communications seminars, I trick people into killer complimenting another participant. Early in
my program, I ask the participants to get to know another participant by chatting for a few minutes.
Later in the program, I instruct them to close their eyes and recall one outstanding positive quality
about the person they spoke with. I say, "Not anything you would necessarily tell the other person,
but some very private positive observation about them." Perhaps their conversational partner had a
wonderfully warm smile or there was a spiritual air about them. "The quality can be physical," I tell
them, "or it can concern their personality." Everybody has at least one good quality.
Page 146
Then I say, "OK, now, open your eyes, and tell them what you were thinking."
"What, tell them?" They are in shock. "Actually tell the other person the private thought I was
having about them?"
"Yes! Tell them." I remind them that I said to think of a compliment that they would not necessarily
tell the other person.
They give each other killer compliments, and the result is a joy to watch. After the first wave of
nervous laughter sweeps the crowd, smiles and warm blushes break out all over. Friendships are
forming right and left. Everybody enjoys receiving their killer compliment, and practically everybody
develops warm feelings toward the person who gave it to them.
What kinds of killer compliments have they just heard? Lovely sentiments like: "You have a terrific
sense of humor," "What penetrating deep brown eyes you have," "I thought you were a dancer. You
move so gracefully," ''I noticed your hands. They're like a pianist's," "I sense an aesthetic quality
about you,'' or "I love your teeth!"
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Friday, September 10, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
Male and female Egoism and love
Frankly speaking, the egoism is a genderless feeling and it is not quite right to talk about the male and female egoism. Though men and women are creatures of different characters and natures and so there are some peculiarities of egoism common for a man and egoism common for a woman. Actually, the difference is common for the consequences.
Here we are going to talk about the consequences the male egoism is pregnant with. The egoistic man is a man who develops his life only around his precious self and he never notices other people around him. He never notices other people and their interests and their needs and their troubles. And he always bothers about his own problems.
In case there is nothing wrong with his life he starts complaining about the unfairness of this life and he is always looking for problems in other people. He will never realize that he is the only reason for those fails he has and he will always blame other people in things that go wrong in his life. In case he will act like this he will never manage to find the solution for his problems.
The egoistic man is a man who will never be a good husband and a good father. He will never notice the loneliness and pain in the eyes of his wife and he will never care about problems of his son who needs him more than anything in this life.
Where there is egoism there is no place for love. There is no way for love to live next to egoism. Egoism kills love. We are not talking about the rational egoism that only makes people to care about their interest, but we are talking about the egoism most people are irritated with, the egoism that makes one believe that he or she is the main person in this world.
See, egoist is pretty sure that this world is for him or her only and he or she is the main person in this world. According to this, they are expecting other people do thing for them, things that will make the life of egoist better. In case people never do those things they grow offended with the fact they are not loved by those people, this is the only way they will recognize your behavior.
And you will fail to explain for an egoist that he or she is wrong in his or her behavior. The egoist is pretty sure that he or she is always right and other people just can't understand it. So, your efforts you will apply in order to open the eyes of egoist will only make him or her close the eyes harder and a person will get offended with your words.
Egoist in love is the main reason for the love to be over. He or she always hurt people and never see it. And no one will explain them that they are wrong, and the one who will try will be recognized as an egoist (!) and betrayer.
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Here we are going to talk about the consequences the male egoism is pregnant with. The egoistic man is a man who develops his life only around his precious self and he never notices other people around him. He never notices other people and their interests and their needs and their troubles. And he always bothers about his own problems.
In case there is nothing wrong with his life he starts complaining about the unfairness of this life and he is always looking for problems in other people. He will never realize that he is the only reason for those fails he has and he will always blame other people in things that go wrong in his life. In case he will act like this he will never manage to find the solution for his problems.
The egoistic man is a man who will never be a good husband and a good father. He will never notice the loneliness and pain in the eyes of his wife and he will never care about problems of his son who needs him more than anything in this life.
Where there is egoism there is no place for love. There is no way for love to live next to egoism. Egoism kills love. We are not talking about the rational egoism that only makes people to care about their interest, but we are talking about the egoism most people are irritated with, the egoism that makes one believe that he or she is the main person in this world.
See, egoist is pretty sure that this world is for him or her only and he or she is the main person in this world. According to this, they are expecting other people do thing for them, things that will make the life of egoist better. In case people never do those things they grow offended with the fact they are not loved by those people, this is the only way they will recognize your behavior.
And you will fail to explain for an egoist that he or she is wrong in his or her behavior. The egoist is pretty sure that he or she is always right and other people just can't understand it. So, your efforts you will apply in order to open the eyes of egoist will only make him or her close the eyes harder and a person will get offended with your words.
Egoist in love is the main reason for the love to be over. He or she always hurt people and never see it. And no one will explain them that they are wrong, and the one who will try will be recognized as an egoist (!) and betrayer.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES
Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."
THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES
In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drink a beer and watch sport, while women can sit and chat about shoes for hours. Generalisation of course. Profound apologies. However there is one area where we men are on solid ground. Men like 'curvy' women. When we say men, we mean ALL men. Women think that men like 'slim' women, and that 'curvy' means fat. Wow. For a man, talking to a woman about her body and it's shape is like digging your own grave with your tongue. There is no way we can say to our partners 'you have a great curvy body', because she will automatically think we mean she is fat! So we will attempt to explain 'curvy' to women, and set their minds at rest. Men are completely turned on by a woman's shape. Her shape. Not her size. Not her weight. It's all about the 'hour-glass' shape.
There are some very, very slim women who have even slimmer waists, and therefore fall into the category where their body has the beginnings of the hour glass shape. There are some women who are naturally curvy, like a Beyonce, Shakira, or J-Lo. And some women need a little dieting, or exercise to find that shape. Men of all ages love to admire an hour glass body. There is something so incredibly sexy about prominent breasts, a slim waist and rounded hips. And usually the side profile is even better, as most curvy women look as if they are trying to arch their backs, and stick their buttocks out. Awesome. That is what men mean by curvy.
As long as breasts, waist, and hips are all in proportion, dress size is irrelevant. The only people who are honestly interested in whether a woman is size 0 or 10, are other women. Men are only interested in the shape of a woman's body. Because the editors of women's magazines are so narrow minded that every single picture in their glossy pages has to represent perfection, normal women who religiously read these pages find faults with themselves. They don't like their hair. Its too dry or too greasy. They don't like their eyes. They can detect fine lines and wrinkles. They don't like their skin. Their hands are too veiny. Their shoulders too broad. Stomach too big. Breasts wrong shape. Legs too short. You get the idea. Who caused all this anxiety? Certainly not men! And ladies, if you take a look through the first few pages of your favourite magazine, the editorial staff is almost exclusively female.
So all the women we know are a little obsessed with being slim, or being the correct weight. None seem too concerned about their shape. Men want one thing. Women are trying to achieve something entirely different. Men want that slim waist. The rounded hips and buttocks. The shapely breasts. They want it all in proportion. But most men are prepared to love their woman, no matter what shape she is. If she were curvy as well as everything else, that really would put the icing on the cake. One great study in the USA was eye opening. The average American woman is 5'4" tall, and size 14. In terms of fashion, modelling, and Hollywood, that is a plus size. Yet, if you ask men "who is the sexiest woman ever?", Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be size 14, comes second to "my wife". Men really think that curvy is beautiful.
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
There are some very, very slim women who have even slimmer waists, and therefore fall into the category where their body has the beginnings of the hour glass shape. There are some women who are naturally curvy, like a Beyonce, Shakira, or J-Lo. And some women need a little dieting, or exercise to find that shape. Men of all ages love to admire an hour glass body. There is something so incredibly sexy about prominent breasts, a slim waist and rounded hips. And usually the side profile is even better, as most curvy women look as if they are trying to arch their backs, and stick their buttocks out. Awesome. That is what men mean by curvy.
As long as breasts, waist, and hips are all in proportion, dress size is irrelevant. The only people who are honestly interested in whether a woman is size 0 or 10, are other women. Men are only interested in the shape of a woman's body. Because the editors of women's magazines are so narrow minded that every single picture in their glossy pages has to represent perfection, normal women who religiously read these pages find faults with themselves. They don't like their hair. Its too dry or too greasy. They don't like their eyes. They can detect fine lines and wrinkles. They don't like their skin. Their hands are too veiny. Their shoulders too broad. Stomach too big. Breasts wrong shape. Legs too short. You get the idea. Who caused all this anxiety? Certainly not men! And ladies, if you take a look through the first few pages of your favourite magazine, the editorial staff is almost exclusively female.
Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Saturday, August 21, 2010
WHY DO MEN OGLE CURVEY WOMEN ?
It is as simple as that - Men will always crane their necks to give a beautiful or curvy woman a second glance. But just why do they do this?
A study in Britain and published in the Daily Mail in September last year, showed that 47 per cent of men were found to glance at women’s breasts on meeting them.
According to another study, one in every three men will have their eyes on a woman’s hips or waist while only one in every five men will remember to look at the face, according to researchers at New Zealand’s University of Wellington.
The same study revealed that men stare at a woman’s breasts longer than at any other body part.
Perry Rose, author of “Women, Sex and Dating for the Single man” says that men’s ‘love for breasts’ goes back to the days they breastfed as babies. But then she poses, “women also suckled” so why are they not obsessed with breasts?
Glan Fiero an expert in personal growth wonders whether men’s glances at particular parts of a woman’s body is instinctive, habitual, wanton lust or just male curiosity.
"Men like the aesthetic value of human anatomy. Each looks at the body part that satisfies his sexual needs,” she writes.
Still in Britain, a study by Kodak Lens Vision Centre that investigated “men’s eyeball activity” towards women showed men check out on average 10 women a day and this takes about 43 minutes of their total day in terms of time.
“This is about 11 days in a year of “undressing women with their eyes”. Just looking and admiring female anatomy,” the study noted.
So, do we have the same problem nearer home and what do the men say about it?
“Any nice looking breasts that are sparingly exposed will definitely interest my eyes,” says Charles Kanake who says he looks at a woman from the front and the first criteria he uses to determine her beauty is whether her breasts are firm and perky or not.
“But the ones that are over exposed in low cut clothes are simply off-putting and not attractive; in fact most men believe that women who over expose any part has loose morals. This may not necessarily be true but that’s what we think,” says Kanake, 23.
Kanake also confesses that he’s attracted to light-skinned women and will most likely turn to have a second glance when he passes one with a shapely figure.
For Tony Chira, it is a woman’s hips that will make him momentarily transfer all his thought to that same person.
“Ogling is not about men being immoral. And whether a man is married or not does very little to dissuade him from glueing his eyes on a curvaceous woman,” says Chira, a fashion and modelling consultant in Nairobi.
He is, however, quick to distinguish between a curvaceous woman and a fat one.
“It is not about the body size. It is about how the body is uniformly held together,” he says.
Chira’s sentiments seem to tally with the definition of curvaceous. The Chambers Dictionary terms curvaceous as “having curves or bent in regular form”. When referring to women, curvaceous means, “having shapely curves or a well-rounded body.”
Like Chira, Sylvester Rotich thinks a woman’s hips go a long to demonstrate the true face of femininity.
“After all, this is where we see the main difference between men and women,” he says.
He believes most African men like women with shapely hips due to their mentality of what a woman’s beauty is all about.
“While men say they look at a woman’s beauty from the rear, many modern women believe in the Western notion that having a slender frame is what is beautiful. Our young women are fighting weight believing men will find them more beautiful and yet this is not necessarily the case,” says Rotich.
“If you don’t believe me, then do the experiment for yourself. Sit somewhere and watch what kind of woman a man will give a second glance. It will definitely not the skinny one," adds Rotich.
Ask a woman what she feels when her man stares at another woman and she will tell you, this is the first step to infidelity.
It also makes many women feel as if the man is making a comparison which is not very comfortable for most women.
But Rotich refutes this. “Many of us just “feed the eyes” and the matter ends there, he says.
“It is wrong to assume that because we ogle other women, we want to take the ogling to another level such as infidelity. How many men do you find approaching the woman they are staring at?” he poses.
Randy Dudo, in his early 40s, admits that ogling at women is a weakness that many men have. They do it unconsciously, many times without any malice,” he says.
Dudo, confesses that it is hard these days not to stare at all the attractive women around especially seeing the way their dress codes leave little to the imagination.
“Many women are going out of their way to enhance their body shapes, especially the hips so they should not complain when we look.
“Look at all the tight fitting jeans and tight skirts being worn and how they are helping in boosting the shape and size of hips. They know men will be attracted and that is why they are investing a lot on this part of their anatomy,” says Dudo.
African men, he says, prefer women with a bit of flesh and not those mannequin-looking catwalk models but quickly adds “It is not about how big but how regular it goes in tandem with the rest of the body,” says Dudo.
John Ndogo admits he looks at a woman both from the front and the back.
“The breasts attract first, especially if they are not over-exposed. Contrary to popular belief, most men fear to be seen with a woman who is showing too much flesh as she may be mistaken for an immoral woman,” he says.
Ndogo, 32, , however, thinks there is no crime in a man looking at a woman’s body - the only challenge, according to him, would be what you do after that.
“There is a satisfaction that comes with admiring a woman’s body. But one must be careful not to make any moves that may be embarrassing or illegal,” says Ndogo.
Like Rotich, Ndogo believes a woman with curvaceous hips scores higher with men as she is seen as being more feminine.
“But of course her character also matters because it is not just a good body that makes a woman,” he observes.
Writing on how the shape of women’s bodies attracts male attention, author Michele Miller says many companies will use beautiful women in marketing blitzs.In “Why boobs and butts will always matter in advertising”, Miller is categorical, “ they will always get people talking.”
Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com
Monday, August 16, 2010
Personality Traits Men Find Attractive In Women
Everyone always wants to know how to be irresistible to men. How can you guarantee he will be all over you and not thinking about some other woman? A lot of it is in your personality. Here are ten different traits that men simply find irresistible in women.
1. Understanding. Men fall in love a lot quicker with women who are more understanding about who they are why they do the things they do. If you lack the ability to understand the men you date then you will most certainly not have a large pool of men to select from. The more understanding and accepting you are of the man you are dating, the more he will love and accept you for who you are.
2. A good sense of humor. Men can be serious sometimes, but they also love to kick back and joke around with their woman as well. The more playful you are the more they will tend to want to being around you.
3. Directness. Men do not like women who play games or never say what is on their minds. The more direct you are and the less you man has to guess about what is on your man the better.
4. Confidence. Men like women who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. The more comfortable you are with yourself the more attractive men will find you.
5. Dedication. Men want women who are dedicated to something, not flaky girls who have a lot of drama and switch boyfriends at the slightest whim.
6. Flexibility. The more adaptable you are to situations the more men will like you. Be spontaneous. Men will be more attracted to you if they know that you can get up and go at anytime without much notice.
7. Caring. This is one of the best personality traits men find attractive in a woman they want to marry. Men want you to show that you care about them and those around them -- their friends and family members.
8. Warmth. Like caring, men want a woman who is willing to show some emotion. The more affectionate and warm you are the more attractive they you become to men.
9. Intelligence. This is one of those very important qualities people do not talk about very much. Men frequently breakup relationships with beautiful women all the time because the women had only their beauty going for them. Men are attracted by women that are intelligent.
10. Honesty. This is the big one when it comes to romantic relationships that are fulfilling. Men want women who are honest, trustworthy, and sincere about their intentions.
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