Monday, November 15, 2010

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE: "

MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE

This story can go on and on as Jeff muya can put it.... So let me commence by saying that I got the headline from a sentiment given out by a listener on metro fm lovers rock show and it got me thinking. Saying “married but available” is almost as easy as saying “niaje” (what’s up). How did it get to be this way? What happened to the days when being married meant your private parts and your heart were locked up and only your spouse had the key?
 

A long time ago, marriage was a license for a lifetime of loving company and a sure ticket to the mystery that was sex. In those days, procreation was inevitable; like part of the process.

Marriage was also used to cement relations between kingdoms and to possibly restore peace between or strengthen communities. Whatever the reason, you were still under lock and key.

At some point after that, it was all about age. You had to get married by the time you were 25. If you don’t have Mr Right or Miss Right by that time, it was very important to take up the next best option or you would die old and alone.

Some centuries down the line however, marriage has undergone a metamorphosis, and the revolution continues. The lock and key have gone digital and you can hack into it or simply ask for the password.Sex and procreation are no longer an issue, it is now more important to have fun.

Whether you are in a night-club or in church, a ring on the finger only serves to get you more attention. It’s like you are an alien species who is immediately more appealing to all the single ladies. And they all know that the married people are more often than not … available. I think the problem is two-fold. There is a willing buyer and willing seller.

People whose names are written on a marriage certificate are perceived to be more stable, and less complicated relationship wise.

They (married ones) on the other, feel emotional reprieve outside their gates because the situations at home are almost like Big Brother, where the only interesting thing is shower hour. And even if things are not so bad at home and they may want to do the right thing – there are relentless predators on the prowl. I wonder if the whole constitution of marriage is becoming obsolete.?


                                                                   Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

WOMEN AT 30........PONDEROUS AGE TO BE DISCLOSED



For a long time single women were almost abominable. All that was reserved for them was pity or suspicion. That has changed now but many women over 30 are still accused of prolonging single hood days by pesky aunties and busybodies who imagine they are commitment-phobic or simply unable to nail a man.
Picture this. A group of six single women of varying length and girth are knocking back shots of vodka like they are going out of style. Luther Vandross is playing in the background and the girls’ only event is in honour of one the girls’ who has turned thirty. The house is the typical kitsch decor up-market apartment. Fake flowers in a vase and enough cushions to fill a meditation hall. It is much like a low budget version drawn from Sarah Jessica Parker’s Sex and the City. Imbued with feelings of wellbeing and of course alcoholic enhanced wisdom, they decide to share their lessons and insights about womanhood after thirty. I am the fly on the wall. Some observations border on ridiculous and absurd. Others are meaningful while a huge chunk of the conversation seems to revolve around lack of sex.
The innocent Kenyan woman approaches relationships with a lot of optimism. Between 18 and 24 they actually believe, that there is such a thing as the perfect man. You know the tall dark knight, impeccable manners, romantic lover who dispenses love with reckless abandon. Between 24-28 after often scathing encounters with men, many lower their standards somewhat to accommodate the overweight knight and rush to the conclusion that perhaps there is a chronic shortage of seriously eligible bachelors in the country. Into the 30s, the illusion is completely dropped and the whole approach towards men takes a new spin towards compatibility. To be a single over 30 woman in Nairobi and lead a normal social life of single hood simply makes you a trophy hunt for older married men prowling outdoors for conquests. They won’t allow you to float in a state of emotional tranquility and delicious self-indulgence as they attempt to fit you into their perfect side dish.
Womanhood after 30 means that…..
You realize that age is not just a number as you come to accept your sags, stretch marks, bumps, extra layers of your once youthful body. You have to contend with the increasingly stiff competition from younger girls who call you old and welcome advances from horny teenagers who think “you are so hot”. You stop hankering for a soul mate or stop waiting up for the dark knight on a horseback. Something about men and directions.
The fantasies of having the perfect body are abandoned and replaced by the reality of a swanky wardrobe to sustain the illusion as a top priority. After 30, a woman can live with tires because you realize that bald short, beer gut men have been pulling it off for years with great results.
You come to the awakening realization that you do not have to like everybody and everybody does not have to like you. Matters of being in the in-crowd somehow diminish as you try to compass your direction in life. It no longer causes you sleepless nights when you are described as bitchy, bossy, dramatic, shapeless or a nymphomaniac. For once in your life, you are not scared of seeing yourself through your own eyes and not through the mirror of others.
You become self catering, seeking new ways that bring pleasure and stimulation to the mind and body. Sitting at home alone, watching soapy movies and up to your pleasure devices is actually something you look forward to. Your attitude towards casual sex tenders to border on scandalous boldness and the ability to flirt with the object of your desire at the slightest provocation is viewed as the mark of self-confidence.
You pick on men who, only five years ago you had considered out of your league with amazing confidence and realize that men only take issue with your potbelly if you do.
You awaken to the empowering revelation that sex and love are not synonymous and why men insist on having one without the other. It is a scary time for the woman but the feelings of guilty are quickly cast aside.
Condoms in handbags become regular features packed alongside the lip balm. You actually begin to demand physical satisfaction and become rather edgy when it is not dispensed regularly. You will notice that your skin will glow for days after an encounter and all your friends will know by one look what you have been up to lately. It no longer bothers you to tell the men folk that you are more interested in the physical and they needn’t bring their hearts along.
You make your peace with your mother and sisters and bond with your girlfriends. You sift through the coterie of acquaintances to discover who the real gems of true girlfriends really are. The circle of friends quickly shrinks to a privileged group. You make time for daily, weekly updates to compare notes on prospects, flirtations or just exchange views on the limitless world of female trivia. You are no longer afraid to be hysterical, outrageous, foolish and drunk in-front of your girlfriends and once in a while in public.
You take mistakes and failures in your stride and engrave the lessons in your heart. You come to the point when trying matters more than getting it right. You are no longer worried about starting a new course, a new job or finding a new man. Shedding bad habits, toxic relationships and disastrous affairs does not seem as impossible as it once did. You have no problem acknowledging how much of an imbecile fool or idiot you have been or are in the present. It is at this point that you stop blaming men for your woes.
You discover that the three vital components of a good man have changed from car, career and wallet to physique, technique and ambition. You can openly discuss male specifications with the confidence of a second hand car salesman. You scrutinize, analyze and measure with clarity using gadgets and body parts that only the female possess. You share your sightings with members of your tight knit community of girlfriends and they are often murmurs of approval when an ideal shag is spotted.
You finally openly acknowledge that staying in does not mean that your life sucks. Sightings of you in the latest club, dressed to thrill are no longer considered a hallmark event and branding of your high status in life. You soon become a dedicated consumer of DVD rentals, glossy magazines and Oprah’s book club.
Weekends spent in dreaded home wear and unkempt hair are no longer considered a taboo as they once were. You are brave enough to go the shops without make up on. You no longer desperately look a your phone praying that it would ring on a quiet Friday night.
Finally the amazing discovery that you will never be young again sets in. You get into the constant habit of describing what a figure you used to have or how men wouldn’t stop drooling at the sight of your legs. Nobody believes you but that doesn’t stop you from constantly pledging year after year to join a gym that will restore you back to the youthful splendour you proudly refer to. You suddenly realize that while women hit their peak in the mid thirties to forty, men are sadly on the decline.
So if you are approaching 30 and still single sit back and relax. Nothing significant is going to happening. Quit whining and get on with your new life status as a wannabe cougar.

                                                        Editor  Email:enpauperman@gmail.com

Friday, September 10, 2010

"You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met"

Each time you discharge an obvious compliment, your next shot loses power. Like they were
Confederate dollars, your Quarry begins to devalue conspicuous compliments. You can use
empathy, make approval noises, and imply your praise early with your Quarry. But save up for the
killer compliment.
What is the killer compliment? It's not, "Gee, I like your tie." A killer compliment is a knock-'em
dead, on-target, outright compliment which takes your Quarry's breath away.
In my communications seminars, I trick people into killer complimenting another participant. Early in
my program, I ask the participants to get to know another participant by chatting for a few minutes.
Later in the program, I instruct them to close their eyes and recall one outstanding positive quality
about the person they spoke with. I say, "Not anything you would necessarily tell the other person,
but some very private positive observation about them." Perhaps their conversational partner had a
wonderfully warm smile or there was a spiritual air about them. "The quality can be physical," I tell
them, "or it can concern their personality." Everybody has at least one good quality.
Page 146
Then I say, "OK, now, open your eyes, and tell them what you were thinking."
"What, tell them?" They are in shock. "Actually tell the other person the private thought I was
having about them?"
"Yes! Tell them." I remind them that I said to think of a compliment that they would not necessarily
tell the other person.
They give each other killer compliments, and the result is a joy to watch. After the first wave of
nervous laughter sweeps the crowd, smiles and warm blushes break out all over. Friendships are
forming right and left. Everybody enjoys receiving their killer compliment, and practically everybody
develops warm feelings toward the person who gave it to them.
What kinds of killer compliments have they just heard? Lovely sentiments like: "You have a terrific
sense of humor," "What penetrating deep brown eyes you have," "I thought you were a dancer. You
move so gracefully," ''I noticed your hands. They're like a pianist's," "I sense an aesthetic quality
about you,'' or "I love your teeth!"

                           Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Friday, September 3, 2010

Male and female Egoism and love

Frankly speaking, the egoism is a genderless feeling and it is not quite right to talk about the male and female egoism. Though men and women are creatures of different characters and natures and so there are some peculiarities of egoism common for a man and egoism common for a woman. Actually, the difference is common for the consequences.
Here we are going to talk about the consequences the male egoism is pregnant with. The egoistic man is a man who develops his life only around his precious self and he never notices other people around him. He never notices other people and their interests and their needs and their troubles. And he always bothers about his own problems.
In case there is nothing wrong with his life he starts complaining about the unfairness of this life and he is always looking for problems in other people. He will never realize that he is the only reason for those fails he has and he will always blame other people in things that go wrong in his life. In case he will act like this he will never manage to find the solution for his problems.
The egoistic man is a man who will never be a good husband and a good father. He will never notice the loneliness and pain in the eyes of his wife and he will never care about problems of his son who needs him more than anything in this life.
Where there is egoism there is no place for love. There is no way for love to live next to egoism. Egoism kills love. We are not talking about the rational egoism that only makes people to care about their interest, but we are talking about the egoism most people are irritated with, the egoism that makes one believe that he or she is the main person in this world.
See, egoist is pretty sure that this world is for him or her only and he or she is the main person in this world. According to this, they are expecting other people do thing for them, things that will make the life of egoist better. In case people never do those things they grow offended with the fact they are not loved by those people, this is the only way they will recognize your behavior.
And you will fail to explain for an egoist that he or she is wrong in his or her behavior. The egoist is pretty sure that he or she is always right and other people just can't understand it. So, your efforts you will apply in order to open the eyes of egoist will only make him or her close the eyes harder and a person will get offended with your words.
Egoist in love is the main reason for the love to be over. He or she always hurt people and never see it. And no one will explain them that they are wrong, and the one who will try will be recognized as an egoist (!) and betrayer.
                                                         Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."

THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES

In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drink a beer and watch sport, while women can sit and chat about shoes for hours. Generalisation of course. Profound apologies. However there is one area where we men are on solid ground. Men like 'curvy' women. When we say men, we mean ALL men. Women think that men like 'slim' women, and that 'curvy' means fat. Wow. For a man, talking to a woman about her body and it's shape is like digging your own grave with your tongue. There is no way we can say to our partners 'you have a great curvy body', because she will automatically think we mean she is fat! So we will attempt to explain 'curvy' to women, and set their minds at rest. Men are completely turned on by a woman's shape. Her shape. Not her size. Not her weight. It's all about the 'hour-glass' shape.
There are some very, very slim women who have even slimmer waists, and therefore fall into the category where their body has the beginnings of the hour glass shape. There are some women who are naturally curvy, like a Beyonce, Shakira, or J-Lo. And some women need a little dieting, or exercise to find that shape. Men of all ages love to admire an hour glass body. There is something so incredibly sexy about prominent breasts, a slim waist and rounded hips. And usually the side profile is even better, as most curvy women look as if they are trying to arch their backs, and stick their buttocks out. Awesome. That is what men mean by curvy.
As long as breasts, waist, and hips are all in proportion, dress size is irrelevant. The only people who are honestly interested in whether a woman is size 0 or 10, are other women. Men are only interested in the shape of a woman's body. Because the editors of women's magazines are so narrow minded that every single picture in their glossy pages has to represent perfection, normal women who religiously read these pages find faults with themselves. They don't like their hair. Its too dry or too greasy. They don't like their eyes. They can detect fine lines and wrinkles. They don't like their skin. Their hands are too veiny. Their shoulders too broad. Stomach too big. Breasts wrong shape. Legs too short. You get the idea. Who caused all this anxiety? Certainly not men! And ladies, if you take a look through the first few pages of your favourite magazine, the editorial staff is almost exclusively female.
So all the women we know are a little obsessed with being slim, or being the correct weight. None seem too concerned about their shape. Men want one thing. Women are trying to achieve something entirely different. Men want that slim waist. The rounded hips and buttocks. The shapely breasts. They want it all in proportion. But most men are prepared to love their woman, no matter what shape she is. If she were curvy as well as everything else, that really would put the icing on the cake. One great study in the USA was eye opening. The average American woman is 5'4" tall, and size 14. In terms of fashion, modelling, and Hollywood, that is a plus size. Yet, if you ask men "who is the sexiest woman ever?", Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be size 14, comes second to "my wife". Men really think that curvy is beautiful.
                                                                        Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Saturday, August 21, 2010

WHY DO MEN OGLE CURVEY WOMEN ?

Look at how a group of men behave every time a woman (or women) passes. Chances are that their eyes will follow the woman until she disappears.

It is as simple as that - Men will always crane their necks to give a beautiful or curvy woman a second glance. But just why do they do this?

A study in Britain and published in the Daily Mail in September last year, showed that 47 per cent of men were found to glance at women’s breasts on meeting them.

According to another study, one in every three men will have their eyes on a woman’s hips or waist while only one in every five men will remember to look at the face, according to researchers at New Zealand’s University of Wellington.

The same study revealed that men stare at a woman’s breasts longer than at any other body part.

Perry Rose, author of “Women, Sex and Dating for the Single man” says that men’s ‘love for breasts’ goes back to the days they breastfed as babies. But then she poses, “women also suckled” so why are they not obsessed with breasts?

Glan Fiero an expert in personal growth wonders whether men’s glances at particular parts of a woman’s body is instinctive, habitual, wanton lust or just male curiosity.

"Men like the aesthetic value of human anatomy. Each looks at the body part that satisfies his sexual needs,” she writes.

Still in Britain, a study by Kodak Lens Vision Centre that investigated “men’s eyeball activity” towards women showed men check out on average 10 women a day and this takes about 43 minutes of their total day in terms of time.

“This is about 11 days in a year of “undressing women with their eyes”. Just looking and admiring female anatomy,” the study noted.

So, do we have the same problem nearer home and what do the men say about it?

“Any nice looking breasts that are sparingly exposed will definitely interest my eyes,” says Charles Kanake who says he looks at a woman from the front and the first criteria he uses to determine her beauty is whether her breasts are firm and perky or not.

“But the ones that are over exposed in low cut clothes are simply off-putting and not attractive; in fact most men believe that women who over expose any part has loose morals. This may not necessarily be true but that’s what we think,” says Kanake, 23.

Kanake also confesses that he’s attracted to light-skinned women and will most likely turn to have a second glance when he passes one with a shapely figure.

For Tony Chira, it is a woman’s hips that will make him momentarily transfer all his thought to that same person.

“Ogling is not about men being immoral. And whether a man is married or not does very little to dissuade him from glueing his eyes on a curvaceous woman,” says Chira, a fashion and modelling consultant in Nairobi.

He is, however, quick to distinguish between a curvaceous woman and a fat one.

“It is not about the body size. It is about how the body is uniformly held together,” he says.

Chira’s sentiments seem to tally with the definition of curvaceous. The Chambers Dictionary terms curvaceous as “having curves or bent in regular form”. When referring to women, curvaceous means, “having shapely curves or a well-rounded body.”

Like Chira, Sylvester Rotich thinks a woman’s hips go a long to demonstrate the true face of femininity.
“After all, this is where we see the main difference between men and women,” he says.

He believes most African men like women with shapely hips due to their mentality of what a woman’s beauty is all about.

“While men say they look at a woman’s beauty from the rear, many modern women believe in the Western notion that having a slender frame is what is beautiful. Our young women are fighting weight believing men will find them more beautiful and yet this is not necessarily the case,” says Rotich.

“If you don’t believe me, then do the experiment for yourself. Sit somewhere and watch what kind of woman a man will give a second glance. It will definitely not the skinny one," adds Rotich.

Ask a woman what she feels when her man stares at another woman and she will tell you, this is the first step to infidelity.

It also makes many women feel as if the man is making a comparison which is not very comfortable for most women.

But Rotich refutes this. “Many of us just “feed the eyes” and the matter ends there, he says.

“It is wrong to assume that because we ogle other women, we want to take the ogling to another level such as infidelity. How many men do you find approaching the woman they are staring at?” he poses.

Randy Dudo, in his early 40s, admits that ogling at women is a weakness that many men have. They do it unconsciously, many times without any malice,” he says.

Dudo, confesses that it is hard these days not to stare at all the attractive women around especially seeing the way their dress codes leave little to the imagination.

“Many women are going out of their way to enhance their body shapes, especially the hips so they should not complain when we look.

“Look at all the tight fitting jeans and tight skirts being worn and how they are helping in boosting the shape and size of hips. They know men will be attracted and that is why they are investing a lot on this part of their anatomy,” says Dudo.

African men, he says, prefer women with a bit of flesh and not those mannequin-looking catwalk models but quickly adds “It is not about how big but how regular it goes in tandem with the rest of the body,” says Dudo.

John Ndogo admits he looks at a woman both from the front and the back.

“The breasts attract first, especially if they are not over-exposed. Contrary to popular belief, most men fear to be seen with a woman who is showing too much flesh as she may be mistaken for an immoral woman,” he says.

Ndogo, 32, , however, thinks there is no crime in a man looking at a woman’s body - the only challenge, according to him, would be what you do after that.

“There is a satisfaction that comes with admiring a woman’s body. But one must be careful not to make any moves that may be embarrassing or illegal,” says Ndogo.

Like Rotich, Ndogo believes a woman with curvaceous hips scores higher with men as she is seen as being more feminine.

“But of course her character also matters because it is not just a good body that makes a woman,” he observes.

Writing on how the shape of women’s bodies attracts male attention, author Michele Miller says many companies will use beautiful women in marketing blitzs.In “Why boobs and butts will always matter in advertising”, Miller is categorical, “ they will always get people talking.”
                                Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Monday, August 16, 2010

Personality Traits Men Find Attractive In Women


                  By Evans Pauperman Nyang'wechi
Everyone always wants to know how to be irresistible to men. How can you guarantee he will be all over you and not thinking about some other woman? A lot of it is in your personality. Here are ten different traits that men simply find irresistible in women.
1. Understanding. Men fall in love a lot quicker with women who are more understanding about who they are why they do the things they do. If you lack the ability to understand the men you date then you will most certainly not have a large pool of men to select from. The more understanding and accepting you are of the man you are dating, the more he will love and accept you for who you are.
2. A good sense of humor. Men can be serious sometimes, but they also love to kick back and joke around with their woman as well. The more playful you are the more they will tend to want to being around you.
3. Directness. Men do not like women who play games or never say what is on their minds. The more direct you are and the less you man has to guess about what is on your man the better.
4. Confidence. Men like women who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. The more comfortable you are with yourself the more attractive men will find you.
5. Dedication. Men want women who are dedicated to something, not flaky girls who have a lot of drama and switch boyfriends at the slightest whim.
6. Flexibility. The more adaptable you are to situations the more men will like you. Be spontaneous. Men will be more attracted to you if they know that you can get up and go at anytime without much notice.
7. Caring. This is one of the best personality traits men find attractive in a woman they want to marry. Men want you to show that you care about them and those around them -- their friends and family members.
8. Warmth. Like caring, men want a woman who is willing to show some emotion. The more affectionate and warm you are the more attractive they you become to men.
9. Intelligence. This is one of those very important qualities people do not talk about very much. Men frequently breakup relationships with beautiful women all the time because the women had only their beauty going for them. Men are attracted by women that are intelligent.
10. Honesty. This is the big one when it comes to romantic relationships that are fulfilling. Men want women who are honest, trustworthy, and sincere about their intentions.
                                                                                                  Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com


Saturday, August 14, 2010

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): 10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): 10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN: "IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUSTARD QUERY BUT NOTE IT !!!!BY Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi Women are called the “fairer” sex for a reason, they ar..."

10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN



IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUSTARD QUERY BUT NOTE IT !!!!

BY Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi

Women are called the “fairer” sex for a reason, they are inherently capable of being more dainty and pleasing that the “grosser” sex, the men. As the saying goes, girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, which is why they are perfectly complementary to men.

Men get turned on at the drop of a hat, and most women know that it does not take much for them have a man jumping the hoops. But as humans, men are just as prone to being repulsed by certain tendencies in women which induce a complete turn off. So what are the things that can turn off your man?  aya tuende .....!!! one>>>>>
The “silent” treatment – most women have a tendency to use “silent” treatment when they are hurt or angry about a certain behavior in their man. They put on a cold front and refuse to reply in a normal manner. The usual reply to all the queries that a guy puts through would be a pert “nothing”. This is highly irritating to men and in many cases it makes them want to tear their hair off. A man would be much happier if his woman is willing to talk out the issues instead of starting a cold war.
Being a cold fish in the bed – Some women, through no fault of theirs, are completely unresponsive in the bed. A guy is bound to feel turned off and frustrated when he finds that he’s the only moving object on the bed. Sex is supposed to be playful and fun, entailing a lot of movements and noises. The more energetic it is, the more fun and pleasurable. There are many women have are very inhibited and shy about their sexuality which ends up making them act like a cold fish when in bed. Most men take it as a personal insult to their sexual prowess.
Facial and body hair growth – Men are hairy all over that’s the very reason why they are attracted to a hairless body in their woman (apart from the head hair and eye brows of course). Most men are turned on by waxed legs and arms, and they are equally turned off if they detect anything hairy on a woman’s body. Facial hair is a complete turn off for most men especially around the chin or lip area. This is not a judgment but a unconscious reaction.
Being overly possessive – Men are usually the “chasers” and they like to stay that way. If a guy finds out a girl is “chasing” him he is bound to lose his interest in her. To keep the guy interested the girl must remain to be a challenge. If she gets overly possessive about him it would just turn him off.
Too religious – Some women tend to get overly religious or spiritual which can be a huge turn off for men. It’s true that there are many men who are religious fanatics, who take their Gods too seriously, but these very men would find it a turn off to be with an overly religious woman, for very obvious reasons.
A nagging attitude – There is something about men that gets women to nag them especially as the relationship ages. Most men complain about the hard time they have contending with the continuous complaints and scorns that their wife dishes out in the name of “self improvement”. Women on the other hand have no clue what the fuss is all about, after all they are only trying to “improve” their man.
Too attached to her family – It’s quite a pain for most men to have to contend with their “in laws” owing to their wife’s obsessive attachment with her parents. There is nothing wrong with being attached to your parents as long as it does not start eating into the personal time that you should be spending with your husband, this is what most men feel. It’s quite frustrating for the guy to find his wife on phone with her mother through most of the evening.
Female chauvinism – A man and a woman are made in the image of god as the Bible puts it. And it’s quite obvious that a man needs a woman to complete him and vice versa. In spite of this there are certain people, in each sex, that end up becoming chauvinistic. A feministic attitude, or a bossy nature, in a woman is what men find extremely irritating, and it’s a big turn off. Many feminists would like men to conform to certain unnatural standards that are completely contrary to a manly nature, a woman who depicts such an attitude would soon find her man running away from her.
A lazy “home maker” – Men have been brought up to look at their woman as their home maker. There’s nothing chauvinistic about it because that was the natural order of things for a long time and it’s deeply embedded in male conditioning. So men love women who are good home makers and are turned off by a woman who expects the man to cook and clean. This may sound harsh to many feminists but this is what men feel inherently. Men are naturally quite bad at “home” management and so they rely on women to play this part in their life.
Too “career” oriented – There are many marriages that have gone into ruins because of the corporate culture of today’s age. It’s quite common for the husband and wife to be employed in most households, and this gives rise to many ego clashes and misunderstandings especially when the man finds his wife becoming too “career centric” to care for her family. Men have traditionally loved the feminine characteristics in a woman and being a home make is one of them. An overly career centric wife is usually a turn off for the man.

So these are the 10 common things that turn off most men. Women can come up with an infinite list of things about men that turns them off, because men quite easily can be the more obnoxious sex in more than one way. The fact remains that men and women complement each other and its beauty is most evident in an intimate, and healthy, relationship. 

                                                                  Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Friday, August 13, 2010

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS: " IT IS JUST LIKE THAT !!!!!!! By Evans pauperman Nyangw'echi Bad Boys. Love them ..."

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): New baby born kenya under new constitution

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): New baby born kenya under new constitution: "A public holiday that will remain sticky in the Kenyan calender and history for that matter is in the making. August 20 2010 will mark the e..."

WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS


                       IT IS JUST LIKE THAT !!!!!!!
        By Evans pauperman Nyangw'echi
 Bad Boys. Love them or hate them, the fact remains that women just can’t get enough of them. I’ve had friends who were clearly dating guys that were so poisonous to their lives. Trying to get them to see how unhealthy the dude was for them was like convincing a certain friend (no names) that flats are so last season. I will also admit that I’ve dated a bad boy or two. Not my wisest decision. I don’t regret it really; the ride was fun while it lasted. However, we have to know when we’re past the phase when we can use age as an excuse for our shenanigans.
Dating a bad boy is quite exhilarating. We usually get into the trap because they know exactly what to say, bad_guy_151723606.jpghow to say it, how to look at you, exactly where to touch you, etc. It’s like a well rehearsed play for them. They are experts at the game of seduction. For the expert bad boys, just a look is enough to have a woman’s brain turn to mush. Confidence is everything. Women love men who take charge and know what they want. Nice guys generally tend to be shyer than their counterparts, or slow to go for what they want. Basically they think too much.
This type of man is quite a rush to be around. There’s never a dull moment. He’s always on the move with what may seem brilliant ideas of things to do. While the regular nice guy may suggest dinner in town at 8.00pm two weeks away and actually show up on time, the bad boy is more likely to suggest a random trip to Naivasha, right after clubbing all night; no need to even stop by the house for some toiletries. Let me explain what you should deduce from these two scenarios. The nice guy suggests dinner because he wants to get to know you as a person. The bad boy is just out for some fun, if you happen to be there, cool. If not, life will go on…
Women are also attracted to bad boys for the drama. Yeah I said it. Drama is the reason why we watch Nigerian movies and Mexican soap operas. We feed off drama. We love to have quite a story for the girls at the weekly committee meeting (Shout out to my girls Audrey and Sarah!). Whether he stood you up, didn’t call when he said he would, had the nerve to walk out on you or made you pay the bill when he’s the one who asked you out, we all love drama. A nice guy is stable and predictable. And what’s the fun in that, right?
There’s also what I like to call the Mama Nani Syndrome. Women love challenges. They think no matter how bad a guy is, they have this supernatural nurturing power to change him. Seriously, if he was brought up by his mother and that’s how he turned out, there’s nothing you will ever do to make him a better person, or turn him into the man you want him to be. He can only be the man he was when you met him. Don’t have false hopes. If you met him drinking like a fish, be prepared to live with mafans wa Tusker (or wa Kumi Kumi as I see women in Central complaining). If you stole him from your pal, resign to the fact that he’s weak and will probably be stolen from you.
nice_guy_373615125.jpgI know I’ve really pumped up the bad boys. The bad news is that, for most women, this is just a phase. Reality has to bite sooner or later. Right now, I only have time for a man who is focused about where he is going and what he wants from life. Someone who will inspire me to be a better version of me. My bad boy days are long gone. I once went out with a guy who had cornrows, sagged his jeans and always had on NBA jerseys (one NBA jersey according to Audrey and Shirley). I can’t even imagine what I was thinking at the time. It was fun while it lasted. I would definitely not make that mistake again although I’m forgiven due to age. So while you enjoy with the bad boy, make sure you don’t miss out on the nice guy.

                                                           Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Thursday, August 12, 2010

LEARN THE TALK OF THE TOWN (Seven things women are insecure about !!)

By Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi


WORRIED_922780104.jpg
 - I think it's safe to say that no matter how confident they are, most women are insecure about a thing or two . . . especially when it comes to dating.  Here are seven of the biggest ones, and what you can do about it.
#1)  That you won't call 
Women are always stressing over whether or not you're going to call them after a date.  So if you tell her you're going to call her on Tuesday, call her on Tuesday. 
But if that's just not your style, or you'd like to keep her guessing, don't give her a definite day when you'll call.  It's better than breaking a promise, and it saves her from waiting for your call on a particular day.
#2)  That you just want to sleep with her FIG_430985869.jpg
It's a fine line: if you make a move too soon, she'll think that's all you want. If you wait too long, she'll think you're not interested.
The best way to work this one is to just be sincere. If you're actually interested in a relationship, let her know. From there, she'll give you the signals to let you know when she's ready to get freaky.
#3)  That you are dating other women 
It's okay to casually date more than one person at the same time . . . as long as you're honest about it.  You don't have to bring it up, but if SHE does, be honest. 
But once you start sleeping together, or things seem to get more serious, she might assume you're exclusive.  So it's only fair to let her know if that's NOT the case.
#4)  That you are not interested
Even the most confident woman sometimes needs a reminder that you're interested in her.  Even if you're months into the relationship . . . or even years . . . she'll still need reassurance now and then.
#5)  That another woman is stealing your attention 
There's nothing wrong with harmless flirting.  But when you're out with her, you should devote your attention to HER. 
The easiest way to think about it is to reverse it:  How would you feel if she was flirting with another guy right in front of you?
#6)  That you are cheating on herFIG2_896158892.jpg
If she's worried that you're cheating on her, there's usually a reason: maybe she's been cheated on before, or she knows you've done it in the past.
But if that's not the case . . . and even if you think she's being totally irrational . . . you're going to have to discuss the issue head-on and let her know that you're committed and have no intention of cheating.
#7)  That she is not satisfying you in bed
Women worry about how they're doing in the sack, just like men do.  So if things are going well, make sure you let her know. 
And if things AREN'T going well, you've got to bring it up in the most sensitive way possible.  
                                            Email: enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

KENYAN DRINKING CULTURE

By Evans pauperman Nyangwechi
In Kenya we drink mostly to get drunk and over time this has evolved into a definitive drinking culture. Most Kenyan men imbibe routinely. Only three groups of men are exempted from drinking; Religious zealots, the sick and rehabilitated alcoholics. Any one else turning down a drink is treated with suspicion.
Drinking is a defining characteristic of the Kenyan male.It is not an evolutionary coincidence that just about every society in the world has a means to getting smashed. In fact, proponents of the grain-for-beer-hypothesis claim that beer preceded bread. The universal need for mild intoxication must be nature’s way of providing a brief respite from the hardship that is life.
For many in Kenya, the first beer is considered proof of manhood, a rite of passage in the absence of traditional rituals. Later in life alcohol becomes a symbolic vehicle for the ritual transition from work to play and for many simply a leisure activity. Beer is the social leveler and usually the only reason you can at times share the same table with your boss. The bar is at the centre of community life. There are only two measures of respect in the bar. An unlimited spending capacity and the ability to get drunk without being a nuisance to the still sober. Buying a round of drinks for friends or strangers is a common custom. The Kenyan male never forgets the man who bought him a drink in lean times. Nevertheless do not mistake this for generosity. The so called round is disguised as a gift but in reality, it is actually a loan. In time, you will be expected to reciprocate and anyone who fails to will be considered a mean bastard. The free booze phenomenon offers interesting insight into our drinking culture. People are more tolerant to alcohol whenever payment is not required. Their capacity to imbibe increases tenfold as soon as the words, “Booze on the house” are mentioned. Surprisingly though, not every one can feed themselves, but just about anyone can get drunk no matter how low their station in life.
In Kenya when an unaccompanied woman accepts a drink from a stranger it is perceived as consent to courtship. Therefore women are advised not to accept drinks from men they do not fancy. Frustrated wives will tell you that boozed hubbies do not make great bed fellows. The choice of beverage is also a significant indicator of social status. Nonetheless, what you drink is more of an expression of your aspirations than your actual position in the social ladder. Thus the Bailey’s sipping lady who thinks she is trendy and sophisticated is actually viewed as a struggling wannabe. Wine is normally a sign of refined taste but not when out of a carton with a picture of grapes on it. There exists a standing gender based classification of drinks. Female drinks can be distinguished from masculine ones because they are often sweeter, weaker and cost more per measure. On most occasions they are not even considered alcoholic. A story is told of a Kenyan male who knocked down a lamp post. When the cops asked the driver whether he was drunk, he replied, “Of course not! I only had Smirnoff Ice”.
Whilst traditionally drunken behavior during festive occasions was generally peaceful, agreeable and good natured, the newly adopted drinking cultures gave a rise to a different kind of drunkenness associated with aggression and anti social behavior. The cultural solutions that countered the potential dangers of excessive consumption of alcohol have been forgotten. The Kenyan drunk still lives by the mantra, “The car knows its way home”. Indeed, Kenyans are ambivalent toward drinking. Drinkers are tolerated as long as they behave. Despite the well documented ill effects of alcohol a significant portion continues to profess a dying love for it comparable only to nicotine addiction. While the cigarette manufacturer pretty much tells you that you may die from smoking, the beer seller tells you, all will be well as long as you drink responsibly. It is a catch-22. Responsible drinking is achieved only after the experience of irresponsible drinking. The sober mind today is often yesterday’s drunk. Legislatively, a ban could be easily enforced as overzealous District Commissioners have done in the past but that would not stop people from drinking. The United States tried it once in their history and prohibition only ended up making Al Capone very rich. The church also attempted to throw in some stern warnings but it lost the moral argument awhile back when men of cloth succumbed hence the phrase, “Preaching water and drinking wine”.
Drinking for Kenyans is more than a moral issue. The norm has been to blame the victims for getting caught up in a destructive habit. The alcoholic is merely a victim in a game of proceeds. When you sell a product that is able to cause drunkenness, I would think the decent thing to do would be to inform the user of all the likely dangers associated with its excessive use. If moderation means one beer an hour, it should be stated clearly on the bottle. However, individual variations in, body weight and alcohol tolerance, as well as factors such as speed of consumption; renders that piece of advice into disputable. Some fellows will get trashed on two beers while others will work their way through half a crate without so much as a twitch. Invariably it is the drinker’s task to deduce their capacity.
Consequently alcohol abuse remains a potential risk. In order to manage the problematic aspects of drinking and the promotion of a less draining drinking culture, Kenyans must remain informed. A good place to start would be more honest advertising. With profitability, comes responsibility.

Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

THE DAILY STRUGGLE

By Evans pauperman Nyangwechi
I write this for many who are like me, in the midst of an unexpected storm, a bewildering disappointment, a heart-breaking loss. I write for the tears that can't stop falling, even though we try to be strong, we try to move on, we listen to the voices that keep telling us 'the storm will be over, God knows best, pick up the pieces.' We listen and we understand and we believe…but the truth is… it's not that easy. It's not that easy to forget, for me, 9 years, for others a lifetime or for some, too little time.

I'm claiming the promises of God and believing that He'll see me through, I know He will, it's not too hard to believe that, but the difficulty lies in the daily struggle… waking up every day to the memory of what once was, to the loss of the only love you've ever known, to the pain and to the tears…The days suddenly seem much longer, you smile but it never reaches your eyes, and you wonder…for how long will it be like this.

For anyone who can identify with my pain right now, who's fighting a similar battle, let us just keep on going. Let's take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time. It's hard to see the sun rising over the horizon, when the sun just faded into darkness and misery, but let's keep the faith.

Our lives are not over, this may be a major setback, but we'll pull through. Let's embrace life with as much joy and enthusiasm and fire that we used to. Don't let your circumstances destroy your spirit. God is in control! It's okay to cry sometimes, it's okay to feel troubled but let's try and remember that it will get better. It's just a matter of time. The daily struggle will one day be over.

Email: enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Monday, August 9, 2010

Overcome The Negative Thoughts To Live The Life You Want

Insight To A Better Way Of Living Life
By Evans pauperman Nyangwechi

In a matter of seconds, my life was thrashed in every direction possible, leaving my emotions and me in a vigorous frenzy. Overwhelming emotions, thoughts, and feelings began flooding into every part of my body. The confusion of not knowing where I was and what just happened was enough to create a major panic. Natural reactions instinctively occurred easing my pain, which caused me to be calm and collective while I assessed my wreck. After realizing my available options, I reacted quickly to better my chances for safety. Through the awful pain, that increasingly grew worse by each second, I stopped and thought about certain cinematic situations that were similar, causing me to smile and even let out a small giggle. The humor caused a brief, yet instant relief of my pain and worries, allowing me to advance to safety without even realizing it. Looking back, I now see that my mind/body was instinctively reacting in a way that my focus was to safety, leaving no reason to give up. Dealing with all my emotions and confusion I found myself lost in a constant swirl of wonder. This wonder was nothing more than me thinking what could've happened if something was different. These constant thoughts lead me nowhere but down when I then realized the opposite side I've forgotten. One should absolutely have no need to grieve over a situation that could've happened, but simply take the situation that did happen for what it was to move on. This feeling lingered around slightly even through the mental wars I've battled through. This feeling was suddenly washed away as fast as my life had shook to the ground. A feeling of certainty overwhelmed me, allowing my sleepless nights to disappear. It was then that I realized my body didn't give up on me through the absolute worst thing I've ever gone through. A sign I could never ignore. I gave it a lot of thought as it became very clear. My body was my weapon and my mind was the ammunition. I shot up and out of this slump as quickly, if not faster than I got into it. No more feeling of shame and no more feeling of sorrow. My body and mind collectively had withstood the most amounts of pain and struggles that I've ever encountered in my life overall combined. The clouds in my mind parted, leaving me nothing but a well lit path to continue on with life's journey. The pain and suffering were gone mentally and the physical wounds remained; just a matter of time. My pure senses of relief lead me to have the fastest recovery physically, which was often commented on by Drs. and Therapists. The fusion of my mind and body allowed me to rise up and overcome the worst situation I've ever dealt with. You too can overcome and conquer, as long as you assimilate every part of you and stick to it.

pauperman man-talk: New baby born kenya under new constitution

pauperman man-talk: New baby born kenya under new constitution: "A public holiday that will remain sticky in the Kenyan calender and history for that matter is in the making. August 20 2010 will mark the e..."

New baby born kenya under new constitution

A public holiday that will remain sticky in the Kenyan calender and history for that matter is in the making. August 20 2010 will mark the end the country’s decades-long quest for a better governance architecture.

Under the road-map guiding constitution making, the President is required to sign into law the new Constitution within 14 days after the IIEC announces the ratification by Kenyans.

Reliable sources from the kitchen cabinet have hinted to supremacy sounds writer on the preparations that are being done in regards to the ceremony to mark the historic event of adopting a new constitution after Kenyans voted for it last week on Wednesday.

"the new constitutional dispensation must be ushered in with pomp and fanfare." one amongst the equals in the cabinet said.

"It is on the basis of this government decision that this week the President will send invitations to presidents of African countries and members of the Panel of Eminent African Personalities chaired by Mr Annan." voice of one amongst the equals in the cabinet emphasized.

The international community, led by the president of America, are supportive of the new Constitution, and will also send high profile representatives to witness the rebirth of the Kenyan nation.

How else would we say the journey has just begun? stay tuned to one amongst equals as he penetrates the walls to bring you the lattes happening all in real time.