KISII THE LAND OF BLESSINGS

Kisii Women Improving Their Lives Using Bananas 

 When a women's group in Kisii County started as a merry- go-round 15 years ago, no one thought that they would come up with a brilliant idea of adding value to bananas. Many people fundamentally know bananas as delicious fruits common in Gusiiland. In fact, almost every home in the area has the crop in its compound. But Kenyuni Women Group found in Nyaura ward in Kisii district has since set an example that bananas are not only cooked or ripened but can also be used to bake many other food products.

Despite the many odds, the group with a membership of 20 now makes queen cakes, bread, biscuits, crisps, ugali flour, banana porridge and banana jam among other delicacies from the banana crop. The women say they came up with the idea after they discovered that middle men were exploiting them by giving then as little as Sh 100 per banana bunch.
Because of the high demand of their products by locals, the group agreed that each member plants at least 30 suckers or more with those who have large parcels of land to avoid a shortage of the crop. A visit to one of their farms where they get bananas for their mini bakery revealed that the group comprising of five widows is committed to fighting poverty through the venture.
According to the group leader Everline Onserio, the farm contains varieties of bananas including the ripening and baking varieties. “We have varieties which are only used for ripening and those for baking. Each member has planted some in her piece of land to avoid a shortage,” Onserio said.
Onserio explained that when the crop is ready, it is carefully harvested and treated with salt water so that they do not get dirty before they are transported on a motorbike to their ‘factory’ situated at Menyinkwa buying centre, a kilometre away. She said that they make bread, chapati and mandazi from ripened bananas which they sell to the public at affordable prices. “Even though we face many challenges in our business, we are committed to making our families earn a living through our small income,” Onserio said. “Our products are chemical free that is why we encourage people to buy and consume them. The biggest challenge we are facing is marketing. If we would have a ready market them we will be making brisk business,” she added.
The group leader says that most of what they make is purchased by the locals who flock their bakery from morning to evening because of the quality of the products. Most of the residents interviewed praised the group saying that their products are local and original compared to those sold in supermarkets. They said they have since changed their eating habits, diet and mostly consume the products because they are nutritious.
Onserio disclosed that apart from the locals, they receive customers from towns as far as Nairobi who order for cakes especially for wedding ceremonies. The women's leader said her group has a strict record keeping tradition monitored by Veronica Nafula whom they sponsored to go for training to study financial management. “As you see we keep records on daily transactions because we want to establish whether we are making progress or not. Initially when we didn’t have such records it was difficult for us to know the position of our business,” she said.
Showing one of the charts in their office, Nafula said the group used get Sh299, 000 before value addition annually but now they rake in Sh635,000 per year. Following their progress, a group member has since composed a Kiswahili poem in which she praises the banana as a plant that can help the community jump out of poverty.
At a time like this, when Kenyans are feeling the heat occasioned by inflation, Onserio said that food security can be attained if banana production and value addition is embraced. Onserio added: “I think time has come for Kenyans to change their eating habits and embrace ugali cooked from banana flour instead of maize flour,”
She called on well wishers to come to their aid and help them with funds to purchase baking equipment to increase their production. The leader asked the concerned authorities to assist them get a patent from Kenya Bureau of Standards (KEBS) so that their products can be sold even in supermarkets and other outlets on limited time as they have to attend to other family duties.
But Kisii deputy mayor, Patrick Siro who is the area councillor and group patron is optimistic that the group will be successful in the long run. Siro said there is need for more funding to the group so that members can attain food security and improve their economic base. The Nyaura ward civic leader expressed optimism that the ongoing construction of a banana factory near Kisii town will help growers of the crop and alleviate poverty.
Members of the group underwent a 40- week training courtesy of the ministry of Agriculture, a few years back where were sensitized on how to plant, rear, harvest, handle the produce and add value so as to earn more money and they are reaping dividends from this venture. They got initial funding of Sh120,000 through the Njaa Marufuku Kenya and an additional Sh127,000 from Showmap, which they used to buy the modern disease resistant crop, rent a house and buy a few machines for the business.
Ben Mogaka a businessman said that such groups should be funded because it is the only way to fight poverty in the society. “Groups with such noble ideas should be funded because they play a pivotal role towards the realisation of vision 2030,” Mogaka said. Mogaka who is also secretary of the chamber of commerce, Kisii branch, said there is need to look for ways to enable the group get exposure through exhibitions.
He added Banks should give the group soft loans to enable them enhance their business. “I also call upon well wishers to come to the aid of the group saying as a chamber of commerce they will visit the group and see how they can be helped,” he added. Mogaka asked the constituency poverty eradication committees to pay the women a visit how they can help them because it is within their mandate.

MARRIED? NEVER, EVER MAKE THESE MISTAKES!!!

HAVING a master’s degree, speaking proper English or being extremely beautiful are not necessarily qualities that will keep a husband happy. In fact, nine out of 10 men polled by All Woman confessed that a woman’s brain power comes second to her desirability when it comes to keeping them interested.
According to my knowledge, “for women beauty fades, smarts is forever; for men beauty goes, he runs for another.”
“Don’t ever fall for the misconceived belief that you can settle into ‘housewife mode’ after marriage because you already have the man.“I can tell you that from the Christian to the pauper; from the rich man to the professor, they want one thing — desirability. All else is secondary.”
So, are you one of those women who have become complacent in marriage? Are thongs now your enemy, hair rollers and old T-shirts at nights your friend; and are you comfortable enough to have a conversation with him while doing your business in the bathroom? “Stop it now,” Evans pauperman warned. And...
1. Do maintain your appearance.
Do remain physically attractive. Remain pretty for him. Change your clothes often and do change your hairstyle once in a while to keep him from getting bored with you. Your nails should be well kept. Don’t think he loves you unconditionally and that now that you are married you have him in the palm of your hands and use that as an excuse to eat loads of donuts and gain excess pounds. He won’t love you for you, if you blossom into someone he doesn’t recognize.
2. Don’t use sex as a weapon.
Some wives take great pleasure in doing this. If their demands are not met, or if their husbands upset them in any way, there will be no bedroom fun for days or even weeks! Ladies, learn to have a little mercy on your other half and do not deny him his sexual privileges or he’ll seek them elsewhere.
3. Don’t play Nancy Drew with him.
Ladies, give your man his privacy. Breaking into your husband’s Facebook or Myspace account is not acceptable. He’ll feel jailed if you’re always on his case about everything. And like all jailbirds, he’ll feel the urge to flee.
4. Be discreet.
It’s not ladylike to fart or burp in the presence of your husband, even accidentally. Passing gas is a male pastime, something seemingly innocent to men, and men alone. To your husband it may be extremely funny when he does it but will seem disgusting and could be a major turnoff when it is done by you.
5. Do be his mistress in bed.
Bingo bags and ‘parachute’ panties are forbidden not only in the bedroom but during marriage. So are rollers, unsexy nightgowns and castor oil-aroma skin. Instead opt for sexy lingerie and a little Victoria’s Secret fragrance. Never fail to try new tricks in the bedroom. Be his mistress. In other words, be a lady on the streets and a freak beneath the sheets.
6. Do not use silence as a weapon.
It is often said that some things are better left unsaid, but silence can also be a deadly weapon which can kill your marriage. This is a form of emotional banishment and some ladies sometimes use this as a way of cutting off their partners for days or even weeks when conflicts arise. Wives, refusing to acknowledge your husbands’ existence has no place in your marriage. This will only send him sprinting away from the marriage. Instead, think of a more suitable way to express resentment so that the problems may be heard, acknowledged and resolved.
7. Don’t pluck, shave or use Nair in front of him.
Some personal activities and items should just not be seen by your husband. These include the plucking of your eyebrows, chin and other hairy body parts. Sleeping with a facial mask on is prohibited. Using the toilet in his plain view will disgust him. Slathering on Nair to get rid of your mustache will weird him out. Discussions about your period should be reserved for the girls. Reserve some amount of mystique with him. Once the mystery goes, so does the interest.
8. Don’t be too spiritual
Of course, acknowledgment of God is extremely important but do not be quick to judge and quote a verse from the Bible every time he messes up. Never behave as if you are the spiritual guru who is always saving the marriage and your family from the wrath of God. Also, never force religion on your husband and constantly threaten that if he does not baptized and accept the Lord as his personal savior you are going to file for divorce. Your husband has a mind of his own and in time he may accept or choose his form of religion.
9. Do respect yourself
Acknowledge your limitations on your time, energy and abilities. Give what you can to your husband, but do take care of yourself too. And, by all means, never tolerate being abused, raged at, betrayed, or manipulated. Those behavior patterns should never, ever be acceptable in your marriage even if it is once and he promises under oath not to repeat his actions. If you do, he will indeed lose respect for you.

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES IS WEARING ...

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES IS WEARING ...: " BY EVANS PAUPERMAN NYANG'WECHI One would think this was basic information that every wife who actually loves her husband understands...."

HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES IS WEARING THE ROYAL NAVY NUMBER ONE DRESS (CEREMONIAL) TO THE WEDDING OF PRINCE WILLIAM AND MISS CATHERINE MIDDLETON

 BY EVANS PAUPERMAN NYANG'WECHI


One would think this was basic information that every wife who actually loves her husband understands. Unfortunately ignorance is a bit more commonplace. For starters, before marriage when a woman holds out on a man, keeping him waiting on the promise of sex after nuptials at the very least make it worth his while. Give him a reason to come home at least from Monday through to Thursday before the evening news. Most men want to continue adoring their brides.
I see men filling the bars on Monday nights and I empathize with the brothers. They are normally hardworking men who succumbed to the promise only to end up with rationed conjugal rights from the woman who is the love of their life. Most have nothing to look forward to. Hardly two years into marriage and the man is bored flaccid. Some bury themselves in work and end up making a lot more money, which tends to create a new set of complications.
The more money a man makes the more attractive he becomes or half of those paunchy geeky types enjoying extended midlife without any crisis would not stand a chance. Venture into any up-market nightclub in Nairobi city and you are guaranteed to spot a few holding court with stunning company. These young naive girls will dismiss you simply because you order wine by the glass and not by the bottle. Usually, the outspoken connoisseur still lives with her parents. The kids know the game and play it with juvenile ease. Basic rules are: the bigger the car, the sexier the man. I do not even know why guys bother going to the gym. Women do not expect men to be shapely or attractive. Do not be confused by the movies and existing propaganda. A woman may want a Romeo along with her as a boyfriend just to make her girlfriends envious but when it comes to marriage or survival all they require is a spine and some money.
Many future husbands will try hard to meet this central requirement. One would then expect some measure of sustained acknowledgement at home from the first lady considering the sanctions imposed on a man’s right to free association. I say this since men are reduced to expecting women to take the lead in sex after marriage. Before the compromised walk down the aisle, most blokes strive to live up to the mythology of the stud even as we concede that many, fall way below par. Nevertheless after the vows, they look forward to some excitement given the legality of the new arrangement. They imagine that passion would alleviate the monotony of a mundane existence.  But instead of walking home to open arms and a warmer bed, all they get is attitude. Most women refuse to engage in anything more than just lying there. What is a man to do? The same routine over and over again! Perhaps it has not occurred to some wives that a husband’s most basic needs are sex and food. A girlfriend and mother all wrapped up in one. Even pastors should be forgiven for looking towards the choir for relief. Many will find mothers in marriage but for excitement they forage elsewhere. Naturally you pay through your nose for something you should get free at home but sometimes you reckon, “It is worth the hassle”. Much like patiently waiting in line for a parking spot at your favorite pub.
Polygamy is no longer an economically viable escape so many men opt for one-night stunts with willing lasses who accord them much-needed acknowledgement. It is regrettable that the reasons put across for lack of active participation in these matters by guilty wives are rooted in ignorance. In the year 2010, a time when my grandma in shags gets to send me text messages, they are wives who still will not touch their legally married partners in passion. These are activities at the heart of male intimacy. Have you noticed that women who take great pleasure in receiving never take the lead in giving? If that is not plain old selfish, then I do not know what it is? He is your husband sanctioned by law? It therefore is not against any law to give him a little extra treatment. Men expect women to be wild in bed. Meanwhile wives still want to be proper, worrying about their hair and the neighbors. Ask for a little more enthusiasm and the request is squashed without further consideration. Boredom sets in and the mistress option pops up

EMAIL:enpauperman@gmail.com

.......................OF SEX AND INFLUENCE!!!

Oxford dictionary defines the term, an “influential figure” as, “Somebody or something that affects the way a person behaves or thinks”. So when I ask, “ Class! Can you give me an example of an influential figure”, you will probably go down wide road and bring back Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa and expectedly, Oprah. Hardly, the correct answer. Allow me to elaborate. Have you ever met a woman so stunningly beautiful that you walk into a room with her and everyone starts wondering what she saw in you? Now that is an influential figure. A figure so aesthetically pleasing painters scramble to do the nude. The female body is art form and men are exceedingly visual. The woman who understands this acquires the leverage of sexual influence. Honestly, the male form pales in comparison, unless you are talking about the nudes captured Angela Fisher book, Africa Adorned. Here is an illustration.


People who walk around naked (not nudists) are called wenda wazimu (mad people) in this country. The nude crazy male is normally tolerated and save for a few women peering for size comparison, they are a mild amusement at best. Now, the naked female loony generates a totally different reaction. I once saw a nude woman in the city. She was very docile, almost meek but presence caused a genuine public disturbance. Take my word for it; she had a seriously well toned body, a lot better than most women I know. I suppose a lean diet and lots of walking does bring results.

Thanks to fashion, a woman can gain influence over most men without uttering a single word. The female body is a web of sexual signals. Front, back or sideways, it always evokes favorable response. Men wear clothes to conceal devices and for comfort. Women however, use them mostly for display and those with assets rule.

When the shapely woman moves, her hourglass figure gives her graceful gait or so it appears. Therefore any woman who is above average beauty either in face or form can have overwhelming sexual influence over men in the workplace. It actually has a wider biblical context. Adam was under the influence of Eve’s figuratively speaking, when he bit into that apple. Sexual influence in the workplace is real; and beginning to take precedence of over competence. What do you expect when you put men in charge? Two women of equal academic qualification are called for an interview. The panel as usual will be predominantly male. No prizes for guessing who they would hire between Miss Long legs and chubby cheeks?

Fat on men is suitably deposited in the front. In women it tends to go around to the back. Nonetheless a woman protruding both ways has little hope at a sexual display and subsequently influence quickly diminishes.

That’s why I hasten to advise aspiring corporate women to work out in the gym more often, drink less and eat more fruit. The corporate arena is still a man’s world and body image counts. Frontal assets can be enhanced by lower cleavage while shapely rears should be draped in revealing fabric or constricting outfits. Keen anthropologists tell us that the female body parts are visual elements that arouse lingering interest from the male onlooker. Women feed off such attention.

When a woman combines sexual influence and brains she becomes what most married men consider an investment. Women still refuse to take advantage of this option opting instead to engage us in pointless debates on gender equality.

The female body is a deep well of gender signals. The omissions of nature can be corrected by extra support and padding. Cosmetics are of great value. Make up has a function; to make one look younger, prettier and to get men all fidgety. Unfortunately, it does not miraculously eliminate perceived physical flaws.

But in a mad rush to join the privileged diva class, many women continue to haplessly break the etiquette barrier. Desmond Morris author of The Naked Ape, a non fictional anthropological classic, calls it overexposure. It is a signal which although not unusual in itself, gains attention because it is performed in a slightly more public context than expected. Some of the cleavage displays on the market are startling and if we have to see those thighs, at least, guarantee the audience a smoother experience. Excessive body hair on women is simply a hairy encounter. Admittedly, there is a blurry line between ignorant and tasteful exposure. Beauty still rests in the eye of the beholder.

I suppose such is life. The rules are never impartial. Only the fair and influential damsels qualify for the lead part in the fairy tale

The International Criminal Court has set aside an application by the government seeking to have the admissibility of the Ocampo six case heard before the suspects appear in court later this week.

The Judges of Pre-Trial Chamber II say the Rome Statute and the Rules of Procedure and Evidence do not provide for any specific time-limit during which the Judges should make a decision regarding this application, and that the ongoing judicial proceedings will not stop.

A brief statement from the ICC on Monday said the judges were in the process of reviewing the application.

"The Judges of Pre-Trial Chamber II have received the Application on behalf of the Government of the Republic of Kenya pursuant to Article 19 of the ICC Statute and are currently in the process of reviewing the application," the statement on the ICC website said.

It added: "The Rome Statute and the Rules of Procedure and Evidence do not provide for any specific time-limit during which the Judges should make a decision regarding this application, and the ongoing judicial proceedings will not stop."

Attorney General Amos Wako announced last Thursday that the government had hired Counsels, Geoffrey Nice QC and Rodney Dixon, Barrister-at-Law to handle the suit.

"This is to confirm that Counsels, Sir Geoffrey Nice Q.C. and Rodney Dixon, Barrister-at-Law have today, on behalf of the Government of Kenya, filed an application pursuant to Article 19 of the Rome Statute establishing the International Criminal Court (ICC), respectfully requesting the Pre-Trial Chamber to determine that the two cases currently before the ICC are inadmissible before the I.C.C," Wako said at the time.

But even as the government filed the admissibility case, the ICC warned that the suit had little chances of success because Kenya has not established a credible judicial mechanism to try the suspects locally.

The Outreach Unit of the ICC advised last month that such plans could only succeed if the persons accused were facing similar charges at their local national courts at the time of challenging The Hague trials.

Sources privy to the suit filed in The Hague told Capital Newsbeat that the government had argued that the cases against the six individuals are not admissible before the ICC because the country is in the process of reforming its judicial and police systems to be able to try them at home.

Those required to appear at The Hague include Deputy Prime Minister Uhuru Kenyatta, Head of the Civil Service Ambassador Francis Muthaura, suspended Higher Education Minister William Ruto and Tinderet Member of Parliament Henry Kosgey who stepped aside to face charges of abuse of office.

Others are former Police Commissioner Mohammed Hussein Ali and Radio presenter Joshua arap Sang of Kass FM.

Mr Sang, Mr Ruto and Mr Kosgey are due before the court on April 7 while Mr Kenyatta, Mr Muthaura and Maj Gen (Rtd) Ali will make an appearance on April 8.

Their summonses to appear were issued last month following a majority ruling by the Pre-Trial Chamber judges who established that the six are criminally responsible for organizing or funding the post election violence which broke out in the country soon after the disputed presidential elections in 2008.

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE

Welcome to Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi man-talk ( page Turner): MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE: "

MARRIED BUT AVAILABLE

This story can go on and on as Jeff muya can put it.... So let me commence by saying that I got the headline from a sentiment given out by a listener on metro fm lovers rock show and it got me thinking. Saying “married but available” is almost as easy as saying “niaje” (what’s up). How did it get to be this way? What happened to the days when being married meant your private parts and your heart were locked up and only your spouse had the key?
 

A long time ago, marriage was a license for a lifetime of loving company and a sure ticket to the mystery that was sex. In those days, procreation was inevitable; like part of the process.

Marriage was also used to cement relations between kingdoms and to possibly restore peace between or strengthen communities. Whatever the reason, you were still under lock and key.

At some point after that, it was all about age. You had to get married by the time you were 25. If you don’t have Mr Right or Miss Right by that time, it was very important to take up the next best option or you would die old and alone.

Some centuries down the line however, marriage has undergone a metamorphosis, and the revolution continues. The lock and key have gone digital and you can hack into it or simply ask for the password.Sex and procreation are no longer an issue, it is now more important to have fun.

Whether you are in a night-club or in church, a ring on the finger only serves to get you more attention. It’s like you are an alien species who is immediately more appealing to all the single ladies. And they all know that the married people are more often than not … available. I think the problem is two-fold. There is a willing buyer and willing seller.

People whose names are written on a marriage certificate are perceived to be more stable, and less complicated relationship wise.

They (married ones) on the other, feel emotional reprieve outside their gates because the situations at home are almost like Big Brother, where the only interesting thing is shower hour. And even if things are not so bad at home and they may want to do the right thing – there are relentless predators on the prowl. I wonder if the whole constitution of marriage is becoming obsolete.?

                                                                   Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

WOMEN AT 30........PONDEROUS AGE TO BE DISCLOSED

For a long time single women were almost abominable. All that was reserved for them was pity or suspicion. That has changed now but many women over 30 are still accused of prolonging single hood days by pesky aunties and busybodies who imagine they are commitment-phobic or simply unable to nail a man.
Picture this. A group of six single women of varying length and girth are knocking back shots of vodka like they are going out of style. Luther Vandross is playing in the background and the girls’ only event is in honour of one the girls’ who has turned thirty. The house is the typical kitsch decor up-market apartment. Fake flowers in a vase and enough cushions to fill a meditation hall. It is much like a low budget version drawn from Sarah Jessica Parker’s Sex and the City. Imbued with feelings of wellbeing and of course alcoholic enhanced wisdom, they decide to share their lessons and insights about womanhood after thirty. I am the fly on the wall. Some observations border on ridiculous and absurd. Others are meaningful while a huge chunk of the conversation seems to revolve around lack of sex.
The innocent Kenyan woman approaches relationships with a lot of optimism. Between 18 and 24 they actually believe, that there is such a thing as the perfect man. You know the tall dark knight, impeccable manners, romantic lover who dispenses love with reckless abandon. Between 24-28 after often scathing encounters with men, many lower their standards somewhat to accommodate the overweight knight and rush to the conclusion that perhaps there is a chronic shortage of seriously eligible bachelors in the country. Into the 30s, the illusion is completely dropped and the whole approach towards men takes a new spin towards compatibility. To be a single over 30 woman in Nairobi and lead a normal social life of single hood simply makes you a trophy hunt for older married men prowling outdoors for conquests. They won’t allow you to float in a state of emotional tranquility and delicious self-indulgence as they attempt to fit you into their perfect side dish.
Womanhood after 30 means that…..
You realize that age is not just a number as you come to accept your sags, stretch marks, bumps, extra layers of your once youthful body. You have to contend with the increasingly stiff competition from younger girls who call you old and welcome advances from horny teenagers who think “you are so hot”. You stop hankering for a soul mate or stop waiting up for the dark knight on a horseback. Something about men and directions.
The fantasies of having the perfect body are abandoned and replaced by the reality of a swanky wardrobe to sustain the illusion as a top priority. After 30, a woman can live with tires because you realize that bald short, beer gut men have been pulling it off for years with great results.
You come to the awakening realization that you do not have to like everybody and everybody does not have to like you. Matters of being in the in-crowd somehow diminish as you try to compass your direction in life. It no longer causes you sleepless nights when you are described as bitchy, bossy, dramatic, shapeless or a nymphomaniac. For once in your life, you are not scared of seeing yourself through your own eyes and not through the mirror of others.
You become self catering, seeking new ways that bring pleasure and stimulation to the mind and body. Sitting at home alone, watching soapy movies and up to your pleasure devices is actually something you look forward to. Your attitude towards casual sex tenders to border on scandalous boldness and the ability to flirt with the object of your desire at the slightest provocation is viewed as the mark of self-confidence.
You pick on men who, only five years ago you had considered out of your league with amazing confidence and realize that men only take issue with your potbelly if you do.
You awaken to the empowering revelation that sex and love are not synonymous and why men insist on having one without the other. It is a scary time for the woman but the feelings of guilty are quickly cast aside.
Condoms in handbags become regular features packed alongside the lip balm. You actually begin to demand physical satisfaction and become rather edgy when it is not dispensed regularly. You will notice that your skin will glow for days after an encounter and all your friends will know by one look what you have been up to lately. It no longer bothers you to tell the men folk that you are more interested in the physical and they needn’t bring their hearts along.
You make your peace with your mother and sisters and bond with your girlfriends. You sift through the coterie of acquaintances to discover who the real gems of true girlfriends really are. The circle of friends quickly shrinks to a privileged group. You make time for daily, weekly updates to compare notes on prospects, flirtations or just exchange views on the limitless world of female trivia. You are no longer afraid to be hysterical, outrageous, foolish and drunk in-front of your girlfriends and once in a while in public.
You take mistakes and failures in your stride and engrave the lessons in your heart. You come to the point when trying matters more than getting it right. You are no longer worried about starting a new course, a new job or finding a new man. Shedding bad habits, toxic relationships and disastrous affairs does not seem as impossible as it once did. You have no problem acknowledging how much of an imbecile fool or idiot you have been or are in the present. It is at this point that you stop blaming men for your woes.
You discover that the three vital components of a good man have changed from car, career and wallet to physique, technique and ambition. You can openly discuss male specifications with the confidence of a second hand car salesman. You scrutinize, analyze and measure with clarity using gadgets and body parts that only the female possess. You share your sightings with members of your tight knit community of girlfriends and they are often murmurs of approval when an ideal shag is spotted.
You finally openly acknowledge that staying in does not mean that your life sucks. Sightings of you in the latest club, dressed to thrill are no longer considered a hallmark event and branding of your high status in life. You soon become a dedicated consumer of DVD rentals, glossy magazines and Oprah’s book club.
Weekends spent in dreaded home wear and unkempt hair are no longer considered a taboo as they once were. You are brave enough to go the shops without make up on. You no longer desperately look a your phone praying that it would ring on a quiet Friday night.
Finally the amazing discovery that you will never be young again sets in. You get into the constant habit of describing what a figure you used to have or how men wouldn’t stop drooling at the sight of your legs. Nobody believes you but that doesn’t stop you from constantly pledging year after year to join a gym that will restore you back to the youthful splendour you proudly refer to. You suddenly realize that while women hit their peak in the mid thirties to forty, men are sadly on the decline.
So if you are approaching 30 and still single sit back and relax. Nothing significant is going to happening. Quit whining and get on with your new life status as a wannabe cougar.

                                                        Editor  Email:enpauperman@gmail.com

"You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met"

Each time you discharge an obvious compliment, your next shot loses power. Like they were
Confederate dollars, your Quarry begins to devalue conspicuous compliments. You can use
empathy, make approval noises, and imply your praise early with your Quarry. But save up for the
killer compliment.
What is the killer compliment? It's not, "Gee, I like your tie." A killer compliment is a knock-'em
dead, on-target, outright compliment which takes your Quarry's breath away.
In my communications seminars, I trick people into killer complimenting another participant. Early in
my program, I ask the participants to get to know another participant by chatting for a few minutes.
Later in the program, I instruct them to close their eyes and recall one outstanding positive quality
about the person they spoke with. I say, "Not anything you would necessarily tell the other person,
but some very private positive observation about them." Perhaps their conversational partner had a
wonderfully warm smile or there was a spiritual air about them. "The quality can be physical," I tell
them, "or it can concern their personality." Everybody has at least one good quality.
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Then I say, "OK, now, open your eyes, and tell them what you were thinking."
"What, tell them?" They are in shock. "Actually tell the other person the private thought I was
having about them?"
"Yes! Tell them." I remind them that I said to think of a compliment that they would not necessarily
tell the other person.
They give each other killer compliments, and the result is a joy to watch. After the first wave of
nervous laughter sweeps the crowd, smiles and warm blushes break out all over. Friendships are
forming right and left. Everybody enjoys receiving their killer compliment, and practically everybody
develops warm feelings toward the person who gave it to them.
What kinds of killer compliments have they just heard? Lovely sentiments like: "You have a terrific
sense of humor," "What penetrating deep brown eyes you have," "I thought you were a dancer. You
move so gracefully," ''I noticed your hands. They're like a pianist's," "I sense an aesthetic quality
about you,'' or "I love your teeth!"

                           Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Male and female Egoism and love

Frankly speaking, the egoism is a genderless feeling and it is not quite right to talk about the male and female egoism. Though men and women are creatures of different characters and natures and so there are some peculiarities of egoism common for a man and egoism common for a woman. Actually, the difference is common for the consequences.
Here we are going to talk about the consequences the male egoism is pregnant with. The egoistic man is a man who develops his life only around his precious self and he never notices other people around him. He never notices other people and their interests and their needs and their troubles. And he always bothers about his own problems.
In case there is nothing wrong with his life he starts complaining about the unfairness of this life and he is always looking for problems in other people. He will never realize that he is the only reason for those fails he has and he will always blame other people in things that go wrong in his life. In case he will act like this he will never manage to find the solution for his problems.
The egoistic man is a man who will never be a good husband and a good father. He will never notice the loneliness and pain in the eyes of his wife and he will never care about problems of his son who needs him more than anything in this life.
Where there is egoism there is no place for love. There is no way for love to live next to egoism. Egoism kills love. We are not talking about the rational egoism that only makes people to care about their interest, but we are talking about the egoism most people are irritated with, the egoism that makes one believe that he or she is the main person in this world.
See, egoist is pretty sure that this world is for him or her only and he or she is the main person in this world. According to this, they are expecting other people do thing for them, things that will make the life of egoist better. In case people never do those things they grow offended with the fact they are not loved by those people, this is the only way they will recognize your behavior.
And you will fail to explain for an egoist that he or she is wrong in his or her behavior. The egoist is pretty sure that he or she is always right and other people just can't understand it. So, your efforts you will apply in order to open the eyes of egoist will only make him or her close the eyes harder and a person will get offended with your words.
Egoist in love is the main reason for the love to be over. He or she always hurt people and never see it. And no one will explain them that they are wrong, and the one who will try will be recognized as an egoist (!) and betrayer.

                                                         Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES: "In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drin..."

THE TRAITS OF ALPHA FEMALES

In simple terms, men and women do not understand each other too well. It's a well known fact. Men like cars. Women like make up. Men drink a beer and watch sport, while women can sit and chat about shoes for hours. Generalisation of course. Profound apologies. However there is one area where we men are on solid ground. Men like 'curvy' women. When we say men, we mean ALL men. Women think that men like 'slim' women, and that 'curvy' means fat. Wow. For a man, talking to a woman about her body and it's shape is like digging your own grave with your tongue. There is no way we can say to our partners 'you have a great curvy body', because she will automatically think we mean she is fat! So we will attempt to explain 'curvy' to women, and set their minds at rest. Men are completely turned on by a woman's shape. Her shape. Not her size. Not her weight. It's all about the 'hour-glass' shape.
There are some very, very slim women who have even slimmer waists, and therefore fall into the category where their body has the beginnings of the hour glass shape. There are some women who are naturally curvy, like a Beyonce, Shakira, or J-Lo. And some women need a little dieting, or exercise to find that shape. Men of all ages love to admire an hour glass body. There is something so incredibly sexy about prominent breasts, a slim waist and rounded hips. And usually the side profile is even better, as most curvy women look as if they are trying to arch their backs, and stick their buttocks out. Awesome. That is what men mean by curvy.
As long as breasts, waist, and hips are all in proportion, dress size is irrelevant. The only people who are honestly interested in whether a woman is size 0 or 10, are other women. Men are only interested in the shape of a woman's body. Because the editors of women's magazines are so narrow minded that every single picture in their glossy pages has to represent perfection, normal women who religiously read these pages find faults with themselves. They don't like their hair. Its too dry or too greasy. They don't like their eyes. They can detect fine lines and wrinkles. They don't like their skin. Their hands are too veiny. Their shoulders too broad. Stomach too big. Breasts wrong shape. Legs too short. You get the idea. Who caused all this anxiety? Certainly not men! And ladies, if you take a look through the first few pages of your favourite magazine, the editorial staff is almost exclusively female.

So all the women we know are a little obsessed with being slim, or being the correct weight. None seem too concerned about their shape. Men want one thing. Women are trying to achieve something entirely different. Men want that slim waist. The rounded hips and buttocks. The shapely breasts. They want it all in proportion. But most men are prepared to love their woman, no matter what shape she is. If she were curvy as well as everything else, that really would put the icing on the cake. One great study in the USA was eye opening. The average American woman is 5'4" tall, and size 14. In terms of fashion, modelling, and Hollywood, that is a plus size. Yet, if you ask men "who is the sexiest woman ever?", Marilyn Monroe, who happened to be size 14, comes second to "my wife". Men really think that curvy is beautiful.
                                                                        Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

WHY DO MEN OGLE CURVEY WOMEN ?

Look at how a group of men behave every time a woman (or women) passes. Chances are that their eyes will follow the woman until she disappears.

It is as simple as that - Men will always crane their necks to give a beautiful or curvy woman a second glance. But just why do they do this?

A study in Britain and published in the Daily Mail in September last year, showed that 47 per cent of men were found to glance at women’s breasts on meeting them.

According to another study, one in every three men will have their eyes on a woman’s hips or waist while only one in every five men will remember to look at the face, according to researchers at New Zealand’s University of Wellington.

The same study revealed that men stare at a woman’s breasts longer than at any other body part.

Perry Rose, author of “Women, Sex and Dating for the Single man” says that men’s ‘love for breasts’ goes back to the days they breastfed as babies. But then she poses, “women also suckled” so why are they not obsessed with breasts?

Glan Fiero an expert in personal growth wonders whether men’s glances at particular parts of a woman’s body is instinctive, habitual, wanton lust or just male curiosity.

"Men like the aesthetic value of human anatomy. Each looks at the body part that satisfies his sexual needs,” she writes.

Still in Britain, a study by Kodak Lens Vision Centre that investigated “men’s eyeball activity” towards women showed men check out on average 10 women a day and this takes about 43 minutes of their total day in terms of time.

“This is about 11 days in a year of “undressing women with their eyes”. Just looking and admiring female anatomy,” the study noted.

So, do we have the same problem nearer home and what do the men say about it?

“Any nice looking breasts that are sparingly exposed will definitely interest my eyes,” says Charles Kanake who says he looks at a woman from the front and the first criteria he uses to determine her beauty is whether her breasts are firm and perky or not.

“But the ones that are over exposed in low cut clothes are simply off-putting and not attractive; in fact most men believe that women who over expose any part has loose morals. This may not necessarily be true but that’s what we think,” says Kanake, 23.

Kanake also confesses that he’s attracted to light-skinned women and will most likely turn to have a second glance when he passes one with a shapely figure.

For Tony Chira, it is a woman’s hips that will make him momentarily transfer all his thought to that same person.

“Ogling is not about men being immoral. And whether a man is married or not does very little to dissuade him from glueing his eyes on a curvaceous woman,” says Chira, a fashion and modelling consultant in Nairobi.

He is, however, quick to distinguish between a curvaceous woman and a fat one.

“It is not about the body size. It is about how the body is uniformly held together,” he says.

Chira’s sentiments seem to tally with the definition of curvaceous. The Chambers Dictionary terms curvaceous as “having curves or bent in regular form”. When referring to women, curvaceous means, “having shapely curves or a well-rounded body.”

Like Chira, Sylvester Rotich thinks a woman’s hips go a long to demonstrate the true face of femininity.
“After all, this is where we see the main difference between men and women,” he says.

He believes most African men like women with shapely hips due to their mentality of what a woman’s beauty is all about.

“While men say they look at a woman’s beauty from the rear, many modern women believe in the Western notion that having a slender frame is what is beautiful. Our young women are fighting weight believing men will find them more beautiful and yet this is not necessarily the case,” says Rotich.

“If you don’t believe me, then do the experiment for yourself. Sit somewhere and watch what kind of woman a man will give a second glance. It will definitely not the skinny one," adds Rotich.

Ask a woman what she feels when her man stares at another woman and she will tell you, this is the first step to infidelity.

It also makes many women feel as if the man is making a comparison which is not very comfortable for most women.

But Rotich refutes this. “Many of us just “feed the eyes” and the matter ends there, he says.

“It is wrong to assume that because we ogle other women, we want to take the ogling to another level such as infidelity. How many men do you find approaching the woman they are staring at?” he poses.

Randy Dudo, in his early 40s, admits that ogling at women is a weakness that many men have. They do it unconsciously, many times without any malice,” he says.

Dudo, confesses that it is hard these days not to stare at all the attractive women around especially seeing the way their dress codes leave little to the imagination.

“Many women are going out of their way to enhance their body shapes, especially the hips so they should not complain when we look.

“Look at all the tight fitting jeans and tight skirts being worn and how they are helping in boosting the shape and size of hips. They know men will be attracted and that is why they are investing a lot on this part of their anatomy,” says Dudo.

African men, he says, prefer women with a bit of flesh and not those mannequin-looking catwalk models but quickly adds “It is not about how big but how regular it goes in tandem with the rest of the body,” says Dudo.

John Ndogo admits he looks at a woman both from the front and the back.

“The breasts attract first, especially if they are not over-exposed. Contrary to popular belief, most men fear to be seen with a woman who is showing too much flesh as she may be mistaken for an immoral woman,” he says.

Ndogo, 32, , however, thinks there is no crime in a man looking at a woman’s body - the only challenge, according to him, would be what you do after that.

“There is a satisfaction that comes with admiring a woman’s body. But one must be careful not to make any moves that may be embarrassing or illegal,” says Ndogo.

Like Rotich, Ndogo believes a woman with curvaceous hips scores higher with men as she is seen as being more feminine.

“But of course her character also matters because it is not just a good body that makes a woman,” he observes.

Writing on how the shape of women’s bodies attracts male attention, author Michele Miller says many companies will use beautiful women in marketing blitzs.In “Why boobs and butts will always matter in advertising”, Miller is categorical, “ they will always get people talking.”
                                Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Personality Traits Men Find Attractive In Women

                  By Evans Pauperman Nyang'wechi

Everyone always wants to know how to be irresistible to men. How can you guarantee he will be all over you and not thinking about some other woman? A lot of it is in your personality. Here are ten different traits that men simply find irresistible in women.

1. Understanding. Men fall in love a lot quicker with women who are more understanding about who they are why they do the things they do. If you lack the ability to understand the men you date then you will most certainly not have a large pool of men to select from. The more understanding and accepting you are of the man you are dating, the more he will love and accept you for who you are.

2. A good sense of humor. Men can be serious sometimes, but they also love to kick back and joke around with their woman as well. The more playful you are the more they will tend to want to being around you.

3. Directness. Men do not like women who play games or never say what is on their minds. The more direct you are and the less you man has to guess about what is on your man the better.

4. Confidence. Men like women who know what they want and are not afraid to go after it. The more comfortable you are with yourself the more attractive men will find you.

5. Dedication. Men want women who are dedicated to something, not flaky girls who have a lot of drama and switch boyfriends at the slightest whim.

6. Flexibility. The more adaptable you are to situations the more men will like you. Be spontaneous. Men will be more attracted to you if they know that you can get up and go at anytime without much notice.

7. Caring. This is one of the best personality traits men find attractive in a woman they want to marry. Men want you to show that you care about them and those around them -- their friends and family members.

8. Warmth. Like caring, men want a woman who is willing to show some emotion. The more affectionate and warm you are the more attractive they you become to men.

9. Intelligence. This is one of those very important qualities people do not talk about very much. Men frequently breakup relationships with beautiful women all the time because the women had only their beauty going for them. Men are attracted by women that are intelligent.

10. Honesty. This is the big one when it comes to romantic relationships that are fulfilling. Men want women who are honest, trustworthy, and sincere about their intentions.

                                                                                                  Email:enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): 10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): 10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN: "IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUSTARD QUERY BUT NOTE IT !!!!BY Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi Women are called the “fairer” sex for a reason, they ar..."

10 THINGS THAT CAN TURN OFF YOUR MAN

IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE A BUSTARD QUERY BUT NOTE IT !!!!

BY Evans pauperman Nyang'wechi

Women are called the “fairer” sex for a reason, they are inherently capable of being more dainty and pleasing that the “grosser” sex, the men. As the saying goes, girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, which is why they are perfectly complementary to men.

Men get turned on at the drop of a hat, and most women know that it does not take much for them have a man jumping the hoops. But as humans, men are just as prone to being repulsed by certain tendencies in women which induce a complete turn off. So what are the things that can turn off your man?  aya tuende .....!!! one>>>>>
The “silent” treatment – most women have a tendency to use “silent” treatment when they are hurt or angry about a certain behavior in their man. They put on a cold front and refuse to reply in a normal manner. The usual reply to all the queries that a guy puts through would be a pert “nothing”. This is highly irritating to men and in many cases it makes them want to tear their hair off. A man would be much happier if his woman is willing to talk out the issues instead of starting a cold war.
Being a cold fish in the bed – Some women, through no fault of theirs, are completely unresponsive in the bed. A guy is bound to feel turned off and frustrated when he finds that he’s the only moving object on the bed. Sex is supposed to be playful and fun, entailing a lot of movements and noises. The more energetic it is, the more fun and pleasurable. There are many women have are very inhibited and shy about their sexuality which ends up making them act like a cold fish when in bed. Most men take it as a personal insult to their sexual prowess.
Facial and body hair growth – Men are hairy all over that’s the very reason why they are attracted to a hairless body in their woman (apart from the head hair and eye brows of course). Most men are turned on by waxed legs and arms, and they are equally turned off if they detect anything hairy on a woman’s body. Facial hair is a complete turn off for most men especially around the chin or lip area. This is not a judgment but a unconscious reaction.
Being overly possessive – Men are usually the “chasers” and they like to stay that way. If a guy finds out a girl is “chasing” him he is bound to lose his interest in her. To keep the guy interested the girl must remain to be a challenge. If she gets overly possessive about him it would just turn him off.
Too religious – Some women tend to get overly religious or spiritual which can be a huge turn off for men. It’s true that there are many men who are religious fanatics, who take their Gods too seriously, but these very men would find it a turn off to be with an overly religious woman, for very obvious reasons.
A nagging attitude – There is something about men that gets women to nag them especially as the relationship ages. Most men complain about the hard time they have contending with the continuous complaints and scorns that their wife dishes out in the name of “self improvement”. Women on the other hand have no clue what the fuss is all about, after all they are only trying to “improve” their man.
Too attached to her family – It’s quite a pain for most men to have to contend with their “in laws” owing to their wife’s obsessive attachment with her parents. There is nothing wrong with being attached to your parents as long as it does not start eating into the personal time that you should be spending with your husband, this is what most men feel. It’s quite frustrating for the guy to find his wife on phone with her mother through most of the evening.
Female chauvinism – A man and a woman are made in the image of god as the Bible puts it. And it’s quite obvious that a man needs a woman to complete him and vice versa. In spite of this there are certain people, in each sex, that end up becoming chauvinistic. A feministic attitude, or a bossy nature, in a woman is what men find extremely irritating, and it’s a big turn off. Many feminists would like men to conform to certain unnatural standards that are completely contrary to a manly nature, a woman who depicts such an attitude would soon find her man running away from her.
A lazy “home maker” – Men have been brought up to look at their woman as their home maker. There’s nothing chauvinistic about it because that was the natural order of things for a long time and it’s deeply embedded in male conditioning. So men love women who are good home makers and are turned off by a woman who expects the man to cook and clean. This may sound harsh to many feminists but this is what men feel inherently. Men are naturally quite bad at “home” management and so they rely on women to play this part in their life.
Too “career” oriented – There are many marriages that have gone into ruins because of the corporate culture of today’s age. It’s quite common for the husband and wife to be employed in most households, and this gives rise to many ego clashes and misunderstandings especially when the man finds his wife becoming too “career centric” to care for her family. Men have traditionally loved the feminine characteristics in a woman and being a home make is one of them. An overly career centric wife is usually a turn off for the man.

So these are the 10 common things that turn off most men. Women can come up with an infinite list of things about men that turns them off, because men quite easily can be the more obnoxious sex in more than one way. The fact remains that men and women complement each other and its beauty is most evident in an intimate, and healthy, relationship. 
                                                                  Email : enyangwechi@yahoo.com

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS

Welcome to Evans pauperman man-talk ( page Turner): WHY WOMEN LOVE BAD BOYS: " IT IS JUST LIKE THAT !!!!!!! By Evans pauperman Nyangw'echi Bad Boys. Love them ..."

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